What I learned from the Big Apple

Most of you probably know I spent 5 days in New York City with my sister-in-law this past week. You most likely know this because I have shamelessly posted pictures and selfies -- clearly I have been a little over excited.

I actually learned a lot from the trip, even if the trip was just a fun, kind of spontaneous trip!

It was the first time I have ever left Garth not to visit my family.
The first time I have EVER left Camden.
And my first "girls trip".
Also technically really the first time I have hung out with my siter-in-law Tasha. We talk every day, all the time. But we live in different states so we made our first planned outing a big one, hello New York City!

Garth's older Sister Ana watched Tasha's oldest daughter Kay, and Garth watched her youngest Mataya.
My mom helped out on the days Garth worked (he took a day off too though) and so it was definitely a group effort trip!

In the beginning, I felt guilty. I told Garth I shouldn't be going, that it was an awesome birthday present but that it was unfair. Garth gave me a huge long heart felt speech that basically said something like this: "Amy, women need breaks. You guys literally never stop thinking about what needs to be done, or about what comes next. The only way to take a break for you is to leave. Men are different. A break for me is watching a baseball game. I can tune everything else out. You can't. You need a girls trip. Breaks will make you a better mom and wife. You'll come back happy, and that is why it is also benefiting me." I know, I know . . . he is ridiculously sweet!

So I agreed that I would go, and I spent time wishing it would come faster!

Finally the day came that we left and I shed a few tears the morning of knowing I was leaving my boys behind. It is hard as a mom to leave your child behind! I left THREE PAGES of notes explaining things with Camden. THREE PAGES. Which I'm pretty sure got thrown right away as Garth or Grandma rolled their eyes thinking "wow really? I've got this".[;

Tasha and I arrived in NYC at 11pm and headed straight for Times Square. We were way too excited to go to bed!
 We wandered around, and she was introduced to the always busy feeling of the city for the first time. And just how bright it is at night!

 Plane Ride

The next day we saw all the areas of New York. We began with a walk to get breakfast "anywhere". We ended up in a fancy little diner where the waiter had a great thick accent, and we couldn't understand very well at first.
We saw The rich areas, the poor areas, Central Park, etc that day. We did a little shopping at Century 21 and "the vertical shopping experience" but mostly we were just getting familiar with our surroundings. Most of what we got that day were things for Christmas for our kids, we couldn't help it lol.

That night we saw Phantom of the Opera on Broadway after eating at an awesome Pizzeria and it was amazing. The pizzeria was fancy and multi level but you still got to watch them make the pizzas, it was pretty cool/unique.

The show was great! I have now seen Wicked, the Lion king, White Christmas, and Phantom of the Opera. Phantom of the Opera had awesome set changes, it was pretty extravagant.

After the performance we ran right into some pretty intense riots since it was later at night. They were for the most part peaceful, but the amount of people storming the streets was a little insane at points and we decided to walk/jog to our hotel! 

The next day we walked Central Park (literally got lost), went through Harlem again, shopped at Tiffany's and Madison Avenue. This day included a lot of walking on very little sleep!
 We then explored the whole Down Town loop and shopped SOHO. By nightfall it was raining, but we still spent two hours outside in the rain finishing exploring downtown. We were soaked. So soaked our shopping bags were all ripping and the walk back to hotel was more of a damp hobble as we tried to protect all our stuff (especially my camera!!).

 Before Rain

 During Rain

 After Rain

The next day we shopped 5th avenue and Macy's and explored more of the downtown area. It was rainy but we had prepared for it that day so we weren't bothered by it. Macy's was INTENSE. That is a huge store and boy was it packed. Great sales though! We literally spent 3 hours inside. Its like a mall!

Sunday we made our low key site seeing day. We took the Staten Island Ferry and saw the Statue of Liberty up close as well as a view of Manhattan from the water. After, we headed to the 9/11 memorial. This was one of my favorite parts of the trip. It was an awesome museum and it was packed yet so, SO quiet inside.

 Trinity Church

The Memorial:

 Before the Attack:

 During:

The original NY Skyline. 

So many missing people papers all around after the attacks. 

The famous stairs left still standing after the collapse. Many people survived because of them. 

One of the Fire Departments that was the first to respond: 

The memorial is really awesome, everyone that goes through can add their story. It is a very unified type of museum that makes everyone's experience that day a part of it. I really enjoyed walking through and highly recommend it.




We finished the day with Bryant Park ice skating and Christmas shops, Rockefeller and the Saks Christmas Show, and then said good-bye to times square.

 That's my headband at the edge... packed street!!

Bryant Park:

This girl's first starbucks drink..

Monday was our last day. We had breakfast at a little diner, packed, and headed out of the city.
It was a bitter sweet day. Happy to see our babies and Garth, but sad to leave the city and the fast pace behind.

It was definitely a trip for the books! Such an adventure! I am so so grateful I got to go!!

While on the trip there were many times I kept thinking I was so lucky to be there. So lucky to have a husband at home watching our son and niece, never complaining. Not many men would willingly do that. On day one of the trip we were listening to our tour guide talk about how everyone in Manhattan has nannies, and just how busy life is. The lack of grocery stores, the excess of places that deliver food--etc. There is nothing wrong with these things, of course, but it struck me that while I love the city, and I love the fast pace--I would never give up my simple life I have. My little family in our home aren't glamorous or glitzy. We don't do extravagant things all the time and I don't wear designer clothing--but we are rare. Garth and I fell in love and chose each other forever. We chose to be married. We then chose to have a child together, and plan to continue to let our family to grow. He chose to work I chose to stay home. We chose the life we have, and I love the life we've chosen. I would not choose anything else if I could go back!

But. I learned that the separation was good.
Not that we needed to get away from each other, or that we needed a break.
I never felt like I just needed a break away from my family, but I can see now the ways in which it was healthy.
Garth serving as "mom" and "dad" gave him a greater perspective on what it is like to be the spouse who stays home. He has expressed how much he learned from it, how much he understands better, and how much he appreciates me.

I have also grown in my gratitude for both Garth and Camden. Being away from either of them reminds me how impossible it would be for me to feel like my whole self without them. Especially without Garth.

I have noticed coming home that we are different. Not different as in our entire marriage has changed, but different as in we have been reminded of things that are maybe a little easily forgotten.
We have expressed our love for each other more often, we have expressed appreciation more sincerely, we have cuddled longer, smiled more, enjoyed one anothers' presence more...
to put it plainly there is a stronger spirit now in our home than there was when I left.
We have been reminded of the important things, and given a renewed sense of energy to put those first things first.

Hopefully I am not being misunderstood. Garth and I have never been in a bad place, and I am not saying you need to vacation away from your spouse in order to love your spouse.
But I am saying, that Garth's birthday gift for me was perfect for me and us.
He knows me well.
Garth didn't just give me a trip to New York for my birthday.
He gave me the opportunity to feel like Amy. Just Amy. Not Amy and baby. Not housewife Amy.
Just Amy.
He gave me the opportunity to relax and enjoy.
There was no calculating the next nap, meal, or diaper. There wasn't meal planning.
Just me.
He gave me the opportunity to remember.
To remember why I love the mommy calculations. The little boy smudgey finger prints all over my kitchen and windows. Why I love cooking dinner and cleaning my home for my husband to return to.
He gave me the opportunity to just take a breath and remember what I chose, and why I chose it.


I know some people expressed that it was weird I was going without Garth. Some people even thought the whole trip was weird. But for my little family it was perfect.
Short enough to not be away too long, long enough to miss each other.
I learned that the old saying is true: Absence does actually make the heart grow fonder.

First Sleepover

The cousins had their very first sleep over yesterday. I was so excited.
Camden loves having a play mate. And Paris loves crafts! Camden enjoys being around during the crafts, but doesn't quite understand how to do them. He spent a lot more time eating the antlers we made than really appreciating them [;


We began the night with our Christmas Crafts. The kids decorated antlers and ornaments.

 Paris is so cute to watch decorate her things. "Next PIECE" she says again and again. And then every once in a while she pauses to say "OOOOO PRETTY!!". I love it.

Next we baked some chocolate chip cookies which the kids enjoyed munching on. 

Then we settled into their pjs and I TRIED to get them to sit still for a picture. 

Which of course only resulted in them dancing to the music that was playing. 

So I sat them on the couch attempting to MAKE them sit still

But very quickly it became a jump on the couch and die of laughter picture. I couldn't even bring myself to stop them--they were cracking up!!

After all the jumping I gave the kids their sippys and let them play in the playroom for a while just the two of them.

Then we settled in to watch the Polar Express. 

Camden lasted about 20 minutes just walking around the family room and occasionally stopping to watch the movie, then he crashed and we put him into his crib. Paris fell asleep RIGHT at the very end of the movie. She excitedly said "CHOO CHOO" many times throughout the movie. I carried her to bed and both kids slept in to almost 10am today!

We had a fun Christmas breakfast this morning which included Santa and Snowman themed pancakes, eggs, and strawberries. (All sleepovers include a lot of sugar right....??)

Then the kids played for a bit in the playroom again as Garth and I packed up and cleaned, then we got them ready and headed to the mall to see Santa where we met Anna.
Paris was so excited to see Santa, but I think she was even more excited to see her momma!

Camden LOVED SANTA.
He ran straight to him smiling and talking and just jumped and jumped in front of him waiting for him to pick him up. Maybe I should be a little concerned my child has no concept of stranger danger!

Overall I would say it was a very successful first sleepover for these cousins! Camden adores having friends to play with so I was excited when Anna agreed to let Paris sleep here. Although I am not sure if they could have had more fun than I did.
We will have to do it again sometime!!
This is one of those things that make living near family so great!

Breathing Easy

I am loving this age of Camden's. It is so fun.
He is into everything, mimicking me like crazy, and just really taking in the world.
His personality is shining through. He is loud, quirky, bold, sweet, and SMILEY.

I think partly I am loving this stage because I feel like I'm no longer holding my breath.
Camden's health problems and questions and concerns I feel like always had me holding my breath.
Someone would tell me "oh he is fine" but doctors always had something they were concerned about or wanted to "keep an eye on".
Camden has had neurology appts, sick appts, well checks, therapy evaluations, swallow studies, EEG's, pediatric gastro, etc etc etc. Each time there have been red flags, concerning things, and things we need to medicate him for.
Finally this past round of appts each doctor has said with a smile "I won't be needing to see him back again unless something changes, he looks good!"
Oh those doctors smiles make me so happy! I usually get the concerned strained expressions where they are trying to not worry me too much but also trying to be honest with me.
My happy baby's body has finally learned how to take in this world and keep up with his ever going mind!

There are many moments I laugh at him and I am filled with a sense of gratitude. He is healthy, he is thriving, and I am just enjoying him. I'm not guessing, questioning, scared... I'm just a mom raising a boy who is my entire world.

Love it.
I know I probably talk about this a lot: his health, my peace or my worry, but there really truly are days that I just feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for finally getting to feel like a 'normal' mom.

Our family has been doing well.
We are always busy but I feel like we are generally busy doing things we are happy to be doing.
We have two custom signs we are currently working on for some customers--so exciting to get to share something Garth and I enjoy doing together with other people.
I have been playing with my camera often--I'm a little obsessed. It's a work in progress.

Garth is a busy bee, but he is a good man and always finds time out in his day for Camden and I.
Today we packed up Paris and Camden right after Garth got off work and headed for Golden.
We took a little trail that begins in Down Town Golden and works its way up further into the Mountains.
It was beautiful, and though our time was short it was nice to enjoy being outdoors with our little family.

Paris enjoyed pointing out all the dogs and ducks, and Camden barked at all of them. Which sounds like "ah ah ah". More like a monkey than a dog, but we understand what he means!!

I feel like every weekend we go do something different. Whether we go to the city, the mountains, a park, the zoo, etc etc, I seem to fall more in love with Colorado the more we explore.
We don't know how long we will be here, we know we have 3 years here but who knows after that.
I'm trying to soak it all up!

So this past surgery was one of the best things that has happened to me ever! One, because I am no longer in pain. But  more importantly two, because it allowed me to take a step back.
I decided to put less pressure on myself, and I feel I have been succeeding in that. I've stopped glorifying a "to-do" list and the act of being busy, and I've started just slowing down and allowing myself to let the unimportant things go.
I have created a loose schedule to keep me from doing TOO much in a day for the world and TOO little in a day for the things that matter in the eternities.
It has only been a short bit but I can already feel how much joy it has allowed me to feel each and every individual day.

Anyways, that was my short little update [:

Here are pictures from our nature walk in Golden today.