Life with our baby boy

 

We've survived a week and ten days as parents! We are learning how to do this whole taking care of a newborn thing [:
It helps that Camden is such a good baby--especially in the sleeping department.
Last feeding was at 10:45 last night and he didn't wake up until almost 6am!! And then he went BACK to sleep after eating until 8:30. I was a spoiled momma last night. He usually sleeps well at night, he only wakes up once usually around 4:45ish but he's been sleeping in pretty late so we are working on getting him to want to sleep a little earlier and then he can wake up earlier in the morning! All in time though.
Its been a bit of a blur the last couple of weeks. One day Garth and I laughed about how life just didn't seem real we kind of felt out of it for a bit there.
Camden didn't do well with the pain med they gave me post labor (it made him quite drowsy) so he wasn't a good eater in the hospital--and as a consequence no one got to see and check his latch at the hospital. So he struggled to latch, and I struggled to learn how to do so. He was gaining weight well so I didn't worry, but I could tell something wasn't right so I decided to see a lactation consultant this week. I'm glad I did. Camden is a tongue thruster, and he comes to eat with his mouth in the shape of a little "o". He doesn't like to open wide he would rather suck like you would suck in a spaghetti noodle. So that has been my main stress is teaching him to re-latch and re-latch til we get it right without causing me too much pain! He eats for shorter amounts of time when he has a good latch so thats relieving. The small "o" latch he cuts off his supply of milk so he can eat for an hour and not be satisfied. So. WE are still working on that. Sometimes a feed goes so blissfully smooth and others we fight each other and he doesn't want to suck and I wonder why people breastfeed at all! BUT all in time right? The lactation consultant advised us to teach him to take a binky (he hates them) so that he will learn to stop thrusting his tongue. So we are working on the binky and I'm happy to report he's learning to like it a little better!
Today has been a great day. We got lots of sleep last night, Camden has eaten and latched like a champ all day and the house has been vacuumed, dusted, and lysoled! All with my Frank Sinatra in the background of course.. its the most normal I've felt in a little while!
I've even cleaned the bathroom this week! I'm pretty proud of myself..
Sometimes I feed Camden in the morning and I think OKAY he's taking his nap what should I do now? Eat? Get Ready? Clean? I always choose wrong. I either clean or get ready before I eat, so then by the time I sit down to eat he's crying and ready to eat again. I've got to learn to prioritize [:
I've yet to cook dinner--but let me defend myself.
Last night was the first night we haven't had a meal brought or left overs to eat. I fully intended to cook a delicious meal, but we had a bit of a surprise.
So I've been having a lot of pain post birth and I just assumed it was the stitches. But the pain started to get pretty bad and was more pressure than anything. Standing to change Camden's diaper was enough to make me hate life. My bleeding had picked up significantly and I tried contacting my doctor but he assured me it was normal and prescribed stronger pain meds. (which, I wasn't even taking the other ones--so I haven't even picked up that prescription). Anyways, last night, in the doctors words, I had my second birth. I stood up after feeding Camden and felt something large fall out of me (sorry gross I know). I yelled for Garth to get Camden and ran to the bathroom. You're supposed to go to the doctor if you pass a clot larger than a 50 cent piece, and I definitely did. MUCH bigger.
SO we got our neighbors to watch Camden (his first babysitters! I was soo sad) and we headed to the doctor. HENCE I didn't make dinner again [:
Turns out not all of my placenta came out after the birth. So that explains all of the pressure. My body has been fighting to get it out and it has kept my uterus from being able to fully contract.
So for the next two days I should heal up nicely--and if I don't I get to go in and have an ultra sound to look for more pieces of placenta. Yay. Nothing could ever be normal for Garth and I could it?
Anyways I'm feeling much better already. Standing isn't so painful, and I don't feel so worn out and nauseated so I'm hoping that thats all behind us.

Its been a fun first couple weeks for sure.  

Full of some milk drunk moments

 Lots of Time with Family

Many Funny Faces

His first football game 

The First Sponge Bath and First real Bath

 Notice his beautiful comb-over

 His blue and Orange for the broncos

He needed a new blue and orange outfit by game-time because he peed through the first one [:

His constant need to prove how strong he is and hold up his head. He does this for pretty long periods of time. 

and just being our happy beautiful baby boy.

 We read scriptures together during his morning feeding.
We read our first book together the other day while dad was working (he made it through probably 3 pages before sleeping)
He loves falling asleep in mom and dad's arms--we do our best to not spoil him.
He's okay with a binky so long as he can hold on to it while its in his mouth.
He likes to grunt when you finally give him what he wants. For example if its burping he wants as soon as you begin to burp him he will make a little "eh eh eh" sound and you know you've discovered what he wants, if he wants to eat he will make his little "eh eh eh" as soon as you start to get him in position--etc. He's cute. 
 I'm just enjoying life with my boy.
We are blessed to have our little Camden.

Camden's Birth: As told by Garth

And the story came to pass of the birth of my first born in the wilderness, Camden Craig Wright. It all started (well not all of it, but the labor portion) on the morning of August 20th.  At 4:30am my lovely considerate and nearly 40 week pregnant wife woke me up to inform me that she thought she was having contractions, that they weren't going away laying in bed, so she was getting up to shower, blow dry, and straighten her hair. (All prerequisites for her going into labor.  Originally the goal was to teach me how to braid her hair so she would look cute for delivery, but 26 tests last semester prevented any time for that).
I really did try to go back to sleep, and I think I may have been successful for 20 minutes or so. However, I soon became very anxious, couldn't sleep, couldn't relax, and ultimately had nothing to do so I came out and informed Amy I was going to go for a run. "Really? A run? You're going for a run?" Yes. I was. Let me justify myself by saying I use my phone for music and gps when I run, so should anything happen (ex: her water break) while I was out I would immediately know and be able to return.  I did infact consider the thought that I would have to run back home which would not be as fast as hopping in a car and driving home, however I trusted my legs that if her water broke or she started having intense contractions, my adrenaline would probably carry me home at a record rate anyway.
But as I rounded the last corner on my short run for the morning I got a text saying that her contractions were stopping, not to hurry home, and that she was going back to bed. So after a run that did anything but take my mind off that fact that my wife could be in labor in a matter of minutes or hours, I decided I wasn't going to go into work druing the morning  and hopped right back into bed after my shower.  Ultimately something I'm glad I did, because sleep didn't come again until close to 24 hours later.
To be honest I can't really remember a whole lot of what happened throughout the day. I ended up going into work for about 3 hours from 1 to 4 pm. Then came home and Amy had started having contractions again.  (We can officially call them contractions now because that is definitely what they were, however at the time Amy was constantly second guessing herself that it was only back pain, that her stomach wasn't as tight as she thought it should be, or she wasn't in as much pain as she thought labor was going to be like). From 4:30 to 6:30pm we timed her contractions, watched home videos, and got hospital bags ready to go. (Which included a hair straightener, you know just in case; who wouldn't feel more comfortable knowing they had the ability to straighten their hair just in case they wanted to? Amy will not be happy I included this). Anyways, at 6:30pm her contractions had been between 3 and 5 minutes apart the entire time.  I was anxious to get to the hospital! In our birthing class the previous week the nurse told us that if contractions were ever between 2 and 5 minutes apart for at least an hour we should go to the hospital.
But rather than going we called the nurse on call for our doctor, although the doctor on call didn't actually end up being our doctor.  So Dr. Watson told us that because it was our first pregnancy we shouldn't rush to the hospital, especially because Amy wasn't in a ton of pain, and the longer we could stay home the better. It seemed immediately after I got off the phone Amy had some sort of heat flash, probably stimulated by the fact that she didn't actually think she was in labor and frustrated by the fact really wanted to get out of the house.  So we hopped in the trusty Alero, turned all 4 vents towards her on Max AC and hopped on the highway (The AC is coldest that way.) An hour later she had a root beer float and I had a cheeseburger meal from Dairy Queen and we were back at home to enjoy what we thought would probably be the second installment of the Bourne Trilogy.
Within 10 minutes Amy's contractions were a whole lot worse. (I forgot to mention she continued to have them about 4 minutes apart during our drive, and said they were worse. She attributed that to the fact she was sitting down though so evenutally she just wanted to be out of the car and walking around). No sooner had she mentioned they were worse then any appetite I had to eat was gone. Never thought I would throw away a perfectly good cheesburger.
Back to the car, with all the bags, the entire time Amy hoping no one sees us because she thinks it's a false alarm.  Mind you, every time she would say, "they are slowing down" or "they are going away", she would have another, and most of the time more painful than the last, contraction.  Same story as we're driving to the hospital. We're sitting at the last stop light before Madison Hospital when she utters those fateful words, "They are going away. We shouldn't have come." Yahtzee! Worst contraction yet. We're at the double doors parking in VIP until she gets checked out, and of course not carrying in all of our bags yet because we don't want to look like idiots packing for the Holiday Inn if we're not admitted and don't have a reservation.
So we get there, she gets hooked up.  Our nurse Marie was the bomb dot com. In honesty, we couldn't have done it without her.  She was amazing. So anyone else pregnant in Rexburg, have your baby at night, and request Marie.
But Amy gets hooked up, baby's heartbeat is good, and mountains are flashing across the screen slowly every couple of minutes. Translation: contractions. Most of them Amy wasn't even feeling.  So Marie leaves and says she'll be right back. Ha anytime a doctor or nurse says that you might as well take a 20 minute power nap. Good news is, by the time she gets back Amy has had some big contractions and Marie is optimistic. She asks Amy what she would like to dilated and Amy responds with at least 4 cm so she can be admitted and know that she is actually in labor. (I might add that Amy calmed down a lot once Marie informed her that she was indeed having real contractions). After checking her Marie says, "Amy you are amazing!" I felt like one of Pavlov's dog's, salivating with anticipation at what was next.  "You're a 6!" As in you are 6cm dilated, as in halfway through active labor.  What a rockstar! Amy was seriously the Gene Simmons of labor! (But only would he was actually a rockstar, not when he totally sucked on the Apprentice.)
With that I was out to park the car and bring up our bags, hair straightener and all. Amy had explained to Marie that our goal was to do everything natural without an epidural, pitosin, or anything. Judging by the fact she was already 6cm dilated and was hardly feeling it, we were very optimistic. Because she wasn't hooked up to any IV's or anything, she got the luxury (if any part of labor can be termed as such) of getting in the Jacuzzi. After an hour in the tub she decided to get out  (more or less because she had to be checked on the monitors anyway). So she was hooked up to the monitors for a few minutes, then decided to get up and walk around.  Walking for her helped her deal with the contractions the best. So we roamed the halls, and I did my best to describe our dream house from what we had come up with during one of our very first FHE's together.  We had to walk by a few people in the waiting area of the hall way who all looked at us very awkwardly like "What is she doing out here if she is in labor?" And I think I did a pretty good job at smiling and at least looking Christlike while thinking, "She is superwoman! Imagine having your cervex 6cm apart and a babies head constantly shoving downward and being able to walk around like this!".
But the point is, her contractions were getting worse, and Amy was starting to shake in between each one.  We went back to the room and Marie checked her again. Disappointingly, she was only at 7cm and it had been a few hours since we checked in. Marie did tell us that the shaking was a sign of transition labor however and that she should start dilating faster from here on out.  We tried numerous things, really got focused on breathing together (Hee Hee Hoooooo).
Not long afterwards we decided to go back to the Jacuzzi because Amy's contractions were alleviated a bit in the water, especially in this transition adrenaline shaking labor state. Although it was only about 45 minutes, that stretch in the Jacuzzi was definitely the longest, hardest part of the labor I believe. It was during that time the first signs of doubt came. Amy had reached what seemed to be most she could take, and said that if she was still only 7cm the next time they checked, she needed to get something to help. She was doing wonderfully with the pain, but exhaustion was quickly setting in and I could see every bit of it in her face.  It was heart wrenching knowing there wasn't anything I could do about it!
Eventually Marie came in to check on Camden's heart rate and we explained what we had decided to do if she hadn't progressed. Back to the room we went. Marie first checked Amy and the great news was she was dilated to 9 cm! This brought renewed energy and motivation for Amy which was much needed. Marie helped Amy with some different positions, especially because she seemed to do better standing up to bear the contractions. She stayed standing up but put all of her weight across an exercise ball on the bed which allowed her to completely relax after each contraction and Marie did counter weight on her back while I helped her breathe when the contractions actually came.
After a few minutes Dr. Prince came in and broke Amy's water (which at 9cm still hadn't happened).  It seemed almost instantly (with the help of Dr. Prince) she dilated to a 10 and was time to start pushing!  At this point it was about 2:15am. Marie was very encouraging and pushing seemed to provide a lot of relief for Amy during the contractions. She was aboslutely amazing at delivering the baby from here on out.  It was incredible for me to witness and such a testimony building experience at the miracle of life, the existence of our Father in Heaven, and the perfect way he has provided to bring his spirit children into the world.
It was very clear that our baby boy had a lot of hair early on. The moment I first saw his face is a moment I will cherish forever, although he wasn't exactly full of color at the time. It was beautiful to see the emotion flood through Amy as she held Camden for the first time. To be honest cutting the cord wasn't really a tremendous thing, maybe that's just me. The thing I loved most was just getting to hold him, help him with his first bath, change his first diaper, and of course speak to him in Twi while mom was taking her first shower!
I'll be honest, most of what happened as soon as Camden was here is kind of a blur. I was suddenly exhausted, and I wasn't even the one who had had the baby! All I had done was stand there, breathe a ton, making funny faces whenever Amy was pushing as I was also holding my breath and pushing, and try to encourage her to keep going! (Although I'm not really sure how much help I was throughout the whole process).
All I can say is Amy was aboslutely incredible throughout the entire experience. She overcame everything not only throughout the birth but throughout her entire pregnancy. She is an amazing woman, and one whom I am so blessed to call my wife and now mother of our first son.  She will undoubtedly continue to amaze me everyday and I'm grateful that Camden will be molded and shaped by the most caring person I have ever met.

Camden's Birth

This is a very long post. Feel free to just skip around. 

 

Camden’s Birth

 

It has been quite an adventurous week so far, one that I will always cherish. Right now this week is probably the highlight of my life—I don’t feel like I’ve ever had a better week.

Lets start with Monday.

So Monday I’m feeling a little anxious, slightly discouraged, and a little bit tired of being pregnant. I keep getting texts that ask if I’m ever going to have my child and each one makes me a little more sad about it! So Monday I decided we should go grocery shopping just in case, even though I really didn’t want to go to Idaho falls.

Then we went and walked 3 miles as per our routine and came home to FHE. We watched a talk by Elder Holland given a long, long time ago. It was actually a Christmas address but Garth had seen it at work and wanted me to watch it so we did together. I won’t explain it in too much detail but he talked a lot about suffering and blessings. He made the comment that Gethsemane cannot be separated from Bethlehem. You cannot forget the biggest blessing and most tender night came promised with much suffering and a tragedy. This clicked with me. I instantly felt bad for being upset that my pregnancy was so long. I was feeling like “I did this whole pregnancy with no air conditioning, I have PUPPPs, I threw up all the time, can I not catch a break here??” That night I felt guilty for that line of thinking. So in my nighttime prayers I decided to just express my gratitude. Gratitude for the ability to carry Camden, for all the pregnancy had taught me, and for the fact I was being trusted to take care of one of Heavenly Father’s children. When I finished the prayer my exact thought was “now I am going to have him” which made me laugh because I was like, if that’s all I needed to do I would have done that weeks ago!!

So fast forward.

Now its not abnormal for me to wake up at night pregnant, but I started to wake up a lot around 3ish Monday night. Each time I assumed it was for a bathroom trip but each time I didn’t really have to go, and my belly was pretty hard. I began to realize I was waking up about every 20 minutes and by 4:30am I had what felt like bad menstrual cramps. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep anymore due to a little excitement and a little bit of discomfort so I got up to head for the shower. While in the shower I realized I was having pretty consistent contractions. So I just watched the clock while I blow-dried my hair and for the next 4 hours I had contractions pretty much all exactly 7 minutes apart. Around 8:30 they started to get further and further apart until they pretty much stopped—which I found very depressing. So I took a short nap and decided to go out to lunch with a friend to take my mind off of it all. While at lunch I was having contractions but I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want to get my hopes up again. Garth came home from work and we went to walmart and D.I. just to walk around and take my mind off of everything. At the grocery store they started to be a little more strong and consistent and by 4:30pm they were about 4 minutes apart. Garth and I watched family home videos for a while and by 6:30 (Garth was using a website to keep track) they were on average a little bit above 3 minutes apart. I still wasn’t feeling like I was in a lot of pain though so I asked Garth if we could keep waiting it out. He wanted to call a doctor just in case and the doctor also agreed that for a first time mom the beginning part of labor could be hours and I would be fine waiting at home. I just walked around, cleaned the house, packed up the bag thoroughly and kept myself busy. Then I was determined that they were slowing and I wasn’t in real labor and was getting really discouraged and hot in our un-air-conditioned home. SO we went for a drive, about 40 minutes away and got root beer floats. Driving wasn’t the most pleasant thing because my contractions were mostly in my back and sitting made them more intense. I drank the rootbeer and told Garth I think it’s about time to go, we need to get home and get our stuff.

We got home and I couldn’t decide. I wasn’t in excruciating pain so I felt like it couldn’t be active labor yet. I paced around and finally just decided better to be safe than sorry. I tried to tell Garth to eat his burger first because it could be a long night but he assured me he couldn’t and threw it away. So we loaded up and headed to the doc. On the way there I got really nervous and I told Garth “I’m not in enough pain we could still only be dilated to 1 cm! We may be getting sent home”. So we go in, and I get in the gown and I’m just pacing, pacing, pacing the room. I turned to Garth and said I’m not in enough pain we’re getting sent home this is stupid we shouldn’t be here. 

 Me pacing the room saying we are going home, Garth said you're cute and I made this face. 

The nurse came and hooked me up and she immediately said, “Whoa that was a big one” and I stared at her blankly. I wasn’t feeling every contraction haha. But then I said, “So I am having contractions, I’m not crazy?” and she said, “If you’ve been having them consistently like that then I think you’re here to stay”. So she checked me and said, “you are amazing” and I just stared at her like I’m a 4 at least?? And she said, “you are 6 cm dilated” Oh my goodness that was music to my ears!! She asked about pain medication and I said I wanted to try to do it naturally and she looked me right in the eyes and said, “Amy you are sitting here laughing at 6 cm. You can do this.” I was so grateful she took the time to say that to me. So at that moment I decided to get it into gear and get ready to push through. I had an awesome nurse so that helped. So we officially checked in at 8:30pm which meant my contractions had been about 3-4 minutes apart for 4 hours before we went to the hospital. It made me laugh.

Me When we realized I was 6cm and being admitted

 So then I got into the Jacuzzi and garth and I just talked and laughed about how crazy it is that we would have our baby soon. Then I got out and wanted to walk around so we walked around the hospital. For an FHE when we were first married Garth and I had made a list of the things we wanted in our dream home. He brought that list and he described our dream house to me as we walked around to distract me. He’s such an awesome man. Then we needed to check on Camden so I got in bed and they hooked up the monitors (they try to do it for about 10-20 minutes every hour which I found great so no problems there). Didn’t enjoy being in bed but it was okay. My doctor walked in in shorts and flips flops and talked to us about where I was at and how things were going. We asked him how his recent race went and we joked around a little about how he had predicted Camden’s birthday correctly. He kept glancing at the machine so finally I said “what?” and he said, “are you even feeling these contractions?” Silly question.

Of course I was feeling them, so I said yes, but that they just weren’t too intense yet. Eventually the nurse checked me again and in the 2ish hours I had been there I had only progressed 1 cm. (which later she said it was actually almost 2cm). But I was discouraged because they were getting very intense. I started to lose my edge a little and my body began to shake uncontrollably between each contraction. The nurse told me I was in transition and that the shaking was due to adrenaline. We went back to the Jacuzzi so that I could get my body to relax between contractions. I sat in there for a long time and Garth just kept telling me how awesome I was doing and doing our “hee hee hoo” breaths through each contractions. I could tell my shaking was making him nervous and I began to complain that I was exhausted and didn’t know if I was going to make it. Garth just kept telling me that YES I was going to make it that I could do this. The nurse came in to check me and I told them both that if after a couple more hours had passed and I hadn’t progressed at all and was still a 7 I may need help because I would be too exhausted to continue on to pushing if it was all that slow. So she checked me and to my joy I was a 9! The check was quite painful because at this point my contractions were coming right on top of each other and I was in extreme pain, plus she was pulling open my cervix more. The doctor came and said, “Wow his head is really low can you feel all the pressure” and I said, “I guess? I don’t know my butt has felt like it is going to burst pretty much this whole time so maybe” so they broke my water and it wasn’t a big gush just some warmth. They had to be careful they said though because his head was so close and low. So then I was informed that soon I would feel the desire to push. I kept looking at Garth and saying “I don’t know if I can do this” and wanting to cry but just giving each contraction the best “hee hee hoo” breaths I had. Finally I started to sometimes feel an uncontrollable urge to push. PUSHING IS AN AMAZING FEELING WHEN YOUR BODY CAN REALLY FEEL IT! Your body sort of bears down naturally and you just lean into it. It took me a little bit to get the sensation right because my nurse kept saying “Push Amy PUSH!” and I was like, “I am pushing!!” but I wasn’t effectively yet I guess. I started to love the contractions that my body wanted to push during and soon they all were that way. Pushing takes away the pain of contractions and you get to focus on something so you’re motivated and find some energy. The nurse started to tell me that he had a lot of hair and Garth was getting excited so I started to find extra motivation to push hard even though it hurt. The nurse told me they could see about the size of a grape of his head and I said, “Don’t tell me that, I already feel stretched to my limit I don’t want to think about how much more I have to stretch down there!” I started to kind of laugh and say I still don’t feel like I am having a baby, but each contraction was hard and took concentration pushing. The nurse thought that it would take me much longer than it did to get him to crown but before I knew it the bed was changed the doctor and two other nurses were in and everyone was telling me to push push push. I would hold my breath while I pushed because it was the easiest way to focus on the things my body was naturally telling me to do. Then I would take a quick breath and push again. Sometimes I would try to maintain the push during the breath. I tried to give at least three strong pushes a contraction, and right when I felt like I was pooped I would push really hard again before relaxing.  I remember getting a little annoyed at when the doctor came in and was talking and joking with my nurse because I was like uh hello guys I’m over here and my body wants me to push so, someone pay attention!! J Then before long I was in the pain of my life, never experienced it—couldn’t imagine it, terrible awful pain and I lifted up my body and looked at Garth and said “I can’t I can’t!” and they said “AMY PUSH” and out came Camden’s beautiful head. I still had a strong desire to push so I kept going and everyone stopped me and told me to look first. So I looked at him (a moment and sight I will never, ever forget) and before I knew it I gave one more big push and he was up against my chest. 

What happens next is quite overwhelming. He’s on my chest, one nurse is washing him off, the other is checking him for things, meanwhile I’m still having small desires to push while birthing my placenta, Garth is taking pictures, and I’m just staring at my baby boy thinking I did not just do that, I did not just do that! Garth then cuts the cord and then they take Camden and the doctor stitches me (I was surprised to not need an episiotomy and the doctor said I tore but very minimally). I was watching Camden impatiently from afar and I told my doctor that he would make a terribly slow seamstress. He laughed and said he just needed lessons from some little old lady. I watched Garth follow Camden around and learn all the things, I got the score of his APGAR test (NINE!) and I began to relax.

Eventually I was told that it was time for my shower and “first bathroom trip” before they moved me. I didn’t want to move at all really, but I got up and we headed to the bathroom. Luckily the nurse came with me because I told her I was feeling whoozy and before I knew it I fell into her. I stayed coherent but my hearing began to leave and fog over so I told her I can’t hear anything and she was spraying me down in the shower telling me to just breathe. They brought in a wheelchair and kept putting ammonia under my nose (that stuff is STRONG) as they loaded me to take me to the room. All I remember about the wheelchair ride was the constant whiff of ammonia and then eventually I totally blacked out because I woke up to them putting me in my bed. I just drank some water and began to feel better. I didn’t sleep at all that night because of the adrenaline pulsing through me. I couldn’t believe I had done it! Garth was the best coach anyone could ever ask for.  That night I just sat in bed and stared at Camden and my husband sleeping. I’ve been blessed with the best boys.

Labor was such an awesome experience. I am so grateful I did it naturally. Was it hard? Very very. Did I get really freaked out during transition? YES. But I did it. The way our body takes over when its time to push and the pain you’re able to endure is amazing. Pushing hurts, but also feels good at the same time and you just kind of ride each wave and feel just how strong of a person your really are. It is actual a really strong desire of mine now for every woman to get to feel what the desire to push is like. I’ve thought about the experience multiple times a day since then and it was just the most awesome experience ever. I often think the thoughts, “That was so FUN” and I know it wasn’t really fun in the moment, but it was absolutely fun in the sense that I have never felt so empowered and so blessed in my life. My son is beautiful and I’m so grateful for the experience.

I’ll write about the days in the hospital later. [: