My Mother

 Today the snow reminded me of the holidays, which always makes me miss my momma.
One of the main reasons is that she always makes the holidays so special. Anybody who knows her knows that she's the best decorator around. Her house is always looking good, and its always got that super "homey" feel that you can't just create. She made our house somewhere I loved to be and I miss it right now.
My mom is the funniest woman. My friends always loved her because of her sarcastic wit. She could instantly cheer you up because she always had a perfect sarcastic comment to make to the person who was rude to you. She would defend her kids to the death. I can't think of one time I needed her that she wasn't there for me. Whether it was a teacher who messed up my grade, or a girl at school who slashed my tires, my mom had my back. She had no problem marching into the school to make a scene if thats what her kid needed. She always made sure we were choiced into the best schools and that we were staying on top of our school work.
Parent teacher conferences with her she had no fear. If you were doing well she told you. If you had missing assignments she asked you why right then and there in front of the teacher.
I watched her "Kindly" inform my teacher exactly what she thought of her when she treated me unfairly. (She kicked me off all the DECA projects after I broke up with her assistant)
I've always known she'd have my back, so long as I was doing what was right. If I was doing something wrong or something she disagreed with she was quick to set me straight, and for that I'm grateful. She had no fear. She was there to be my mom, and because of that we've become best friends.
My mom is one of the least judgmental women you will ever meet. I know I brought home some friends that she could have easily judged. Instead, my mom showered everyone with kindness. Many of my friends still talk about how much they love the moments where my mom would come down in the basement and just talk with us. Everyone loved her, and all of the nonmembers were surprised to find a "mormon mom" who treated them so nicely.
I believe that it was partly her doing that so many of my friends were able to take the discussions at our house. They felt welcomed and accepted by my mother.
Besides all those great things my mom DOES for me, we just had some good times!
There were many long drives late at night to go get Sonic.
During the cold months her, kelsey, and I would go get starbucks and drive around looking at the lights. We would laugh and compete at guessing who the artist was on the Christmas station, and we're all reallllly good at it. (we listen to it a lot)
My mom would take us out of school sometimes to go shopping and spend the day with her. (Only if we had good grades and no missing assignments). These were the best days. Her kids are her best friends, and she definitely was good at making us feel that way.

I distinctly remember a day (i think in october) we drove to estes park. Kelsey and I had Christmas music playing because we so badly wanted the holidays. We wanted snow too. So my mom drove in the mountains until we hit snow. We got out and built a snowman and had a snowball fight before we drove back home. Its one of my favorite memories. Its something probably no other mom could say she's done for her kids, and no other kid could say there mom drove til she hit snow for them! Kelsey my Mom and I spent a lot of days like that. Shopping at little craft stores and old christmas shops. I miss those times, but I look forward to more this December.
I've watched my mom stress and worry and work to make Christmas the best for us every year. She always wants the perfect gifts and wants to see her children happy. I know it has gotten harder as we have all grown, but I have the fondest memories of Christmas. I mostly just remember things I got from "santa" and our traditions. I know where we all sit, I know how we open gifts, I know what my mom will give me on Christmas Eve, and I know our house will have three beautiful trees.
She's an extremely giving person. I've watched her give and give and give and lots of times get nothing back. I've seen her fulfill callings in church, volunteer at all of our schools, take care of the rental properties, keep an extremely clean beautiful house, and always look good herself. She's one of those women who always makes sure the house is nice and she looks good before her husband comes home. She bends over backwards for everyone, and for that I admire her. 

Point is she's awesome, and I miss her. Everyone always makes fun of me because I want to move back to Colorado more than anything. Most of the reason is to be closer to my mom. Miss her a lot, and I want to be able to repay her for all that she's done for me.

Love our Life.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I LOVE GARTH AND I's LIFE TOGETHER!.
Its so great. SO SO SO great.
We have the best ward.
The best friends.
The best relationship.
The cutest little apartment.
So much fun.
and we are so blessed!
Love it.

Garth is so good to me. There are days where I'm just overwhelmed by his sweetness. He is always so tired it makes me sad for him. He's in extremely difficult heavy workload classes. He wakes up at 3:15am everyday, he helps with dinner nights that I'm doing homework, he studies like crazy, and he finds time to just do little things for me/with me despite all his work. I'm so lucky!
Plus he's constantly telling me how much he loves me, always complimenting me, and is always the first to apologize. I definitely married above myself. Everyday his actions remind me that I can be better. Gotta step it up and be what he deserves [:

Tonight we had FHE with two other families (The Murris and the Urrutias) at our apartment. It was quite fun. We had a lesson (taught by me about "Love Maps") Its a chapter in a marriage book I've been reading and I thought it was really really good. So that was fun.
Then we carved pumpkins and had hot chocolate and hot apple cider. YUM!
I love our neighbors. They're our best friends here in the Burg and its so much fun. We're so blessed to know them, they make our lives that much better. After we carved pumpkins we played some Super Smash (its a nerdy tradition we seem to have). Now Garth is asleep and I'm waiting for our guest to arrive. (We have a friends friend staying here tonight so they can get their engagements here in Rexburg)

I'm a creeper... and I stole some of their photos so you can see who they are! 

 This above is Angie and Kyle

This is Tyson and DD aka Dorothy. [: 

I just love every little thing about this life right now! We are so happy.
I work out with my neighbor DD, garth works out with our neighbor Tyson. He details cars with our other neighbor Kyle, and Angie kyle's wife is going to teach me to crochet!
DD and I are currently doing this "healthy eating" plan together and its nice to have a friend in that.

I'm so grateful that marriage provides that step that takes you out of the world as much as you can be in this life. So many worldly things just don't matter now that we're married and its so nice. I feel so bad for women who have a man who doesn't treat them right, and they don't feel they deserve better. I feel bad for women without religion, women raising their children alone, and women who still find worth in the world. There's just so much more to life. Nothing frustrates me more than people who aren't honest with each other, who don't have common goals, and who don't treat each other well but yet somehow think that they are meant to be. It takes more!
 I'm grateful for parents who were married and loved each other and for the gospel and the direction it has given and continues to give me. I have a strong testimony of the gospel and I'm proud to be a member of this church. I feel confident that it will bless my family and children and I know that it blesses my marriage everyday.

Goodness life is so good [:

Conference Weekend

Whoo this past week/weekend was long!
Last week Garth told me we were going to be going to Salt Lake for some important things that weekend and I politely informed in that if I was still drowning in homework he would be going without me. [;
Garth refuses to leave me for that long. He won't go sleep somewhere else without me by his side (even though he's flown me home to see my family without him...). But needless to say I still love him that much more for it.
So we made a compromise. I worked my butt off all week and told him that Thursday night I would pull an all nighter. If I got all my work done that night I would go, and if not then I tried real hard, and he had to go without me. He said deal and we smiled and went on our merry way.
Well let me tell you its quite difficult to pull an all nighter when you wake up at 3:15 am everyday. You're not used to staying up late. So Wednesday night I stayed up a little past midnight (that meant I'd been awake from 21 hours) doing all the homework I could. Then I stayed up Thursday night until about 2 sewing and woke at 3:15 for work. I did homework after class, and sewed for six hours. I still wasn't finished. SO I had to tell Garth I couldn't go.
But we worked it out that he went to the reunion with Kyle and Bailee and then rode back with them. And would go with me to Salt Lake the next day. That meant I got to sew all day again! I started sewing around 5pm and didn't stop until almost 1am. But by that time I was just pooped and frustrated that it wasn't going as fast as I wanted it to. Not too mention I was feeling like an old lady with my back all achey. Making cording is a tedious process, and I wanted everything to look perfect. SO from lack of sleep I decided that I just needed to go to bed and not ruin the dang things. So I went to bed at 1 pretty tired and woke up at 6. I got up and cleaned my house, packed, and drove with Garth to Logan. We watched conference (I passed out) and then drove to Salt Lake to see his dad for dinner. We drove back to Logan did homework due at midnight, painted pumpkins with his sister and her family, then got up the next day and watched the morning session, then drove home. It was lonnngggg.
We got home and turned on the second session and ate some delicious homemade creamy vegetable soup that I had made and watched the rest of conference. After, we took a long nap together. It was heavenly. Then it was on to homework we hadn't done for the weekend.
SO that was an interesting experience! But today I decided that I deserve a break [; probably not but I took one anyways.
After work and school I came home and ordered some pictures I've been meaning to get printed. Then I wandered walmart and the craft store for a while getting all the little things I keep thinking we need but forgetting to get. I went and bought my friend a birthday present and then I came home and took a long shower. I made pretzel dogs for dinner--weird I know but I had a craving. Garth and I went for a walk and took pictures in the fall leaves and I just enjoyed the day. We had to postpone the FHE i planned until tomorrow because he has an exam tomorrow that he's been studying for all day. We will do FHE after the stress of taking it is over.
I get to sleep in until 5 tomorrow so I'm just going to sew tonight (i SHOULD finish tonight fingers crossed!!) and I will clean my house in the morning after I do my Brit Lit reading.

The main lesson that I learned last week is that I just love being married to Garth so much. When you read about the week and all we did it probably doesn't sound very fun, but I honestly enjoyed it just because I love being with him so much. Thats the fun thing about being married. You're always with your best friend and you just get to enjoy even the smallest of moments because you're together. Garth makes me the happiest girl in the world and I feel complete being with him, even if it is just taking a Sunday nap. Sometimes we just sit at the table and do homework but him being there next to me just makes me smile.
I'm so grateful for him and all that he does for me. He's a dang hard worker and I'm so blessed to call him mine!

Fall Semester

Its been a while since I've posted. I'm mostly just always out of time!
I shouldn't even be posting right now but I just can't help but take a break.
I have the heaviest work load I've ever had school wise in my life!
Currently reading 3 novels for one class. Have a paper due every Wednesday for one class. A novel for another class. A text book for another, and a novel and a text book for another, and a textbook and poetry for the other. Its a LOT of reading and writing. On top of that I'm trying to finish sewing my sister's crib bedding (its taking me wayyy to long). I make super simple dinners lately. I'm literally up at 3:15 am, reading at work, going to school, coming home and doing homework until 5:00. I go to the gym at 5:00 every other day and on the days I don't I try to get dinner started. Then its back to homework or sewing for three more hours and then bed. And I still don't finish everything!!

Anyhow-- those are my complaints [: haha.
I'm working on staying positive and not overloading myself. Its really hard to stay motivated when you'd rather be cooking great dinners, cleaning your house, and all that fun wife stuff.
But the days I don't work (Tuesday and Thursday) I let myself sleep in until 5am and then I get up and give myself two hours of homework time, then two hours of clean/get ready time/catch up time before class. Those are my favorite times. They usually look like this.

 Candle burning, clean house, hot cocoa, reading British lit, and Ella Fitzgerald!
Besides all the work, I LOVE my major truly and fully. English has always been my favorite, and will always be. I especially love writing. Right now I'm working on building my skills in less formal forms of writing-- like fiction. I do well at speeches, essays, research papers, academic papers, and emotional pieces. So right now I'm focusing on the short story.
I'm also really loving having books to read that push me to understand. SO much better than the Harry Potter books I was reading over the break. (No offense fans!) They were just too surface level and simple. A great story nonetheless though.

I'm also working on trying to be healthy again. Happy to say that the strep is gone and I'm just feeling great! With the pregnancy and miscarriage it'd been almost 5 months since I REALLY ran on a treadmill. Last Thursday I started with the bike and just went 15 miles. It felt really good. By Saturday I graduated to the treadmill and ran/walked 2.5 miles, then rode 2.5 more on the bike. (I'm starting small, don't judge). Hoping to get back into lifting soon but we'll see where the time permits. Feels good to be taking care of my body, and to take that time out for me. Even if it is only every other day right now.

Garth and I are continuing to enjoy being married-- as if you wondered. We have a couple fun things coming up, but they're secrets so I'll have to share later when they're finished [:
Garth works really hard in school and I watch him study and restudy lecture notes daily. He memorizes everything. I'm grateful for such a hard working man. Did I mention he works at 4am EVERYDAY? Well besides weekends. But yeah thats not fun. He also is a sweetheart and gets up early on the weekends to help people. Last week it was to help the neighbor detail his new car. So funny. 6 am on a Saturday he's up and by 2pm he'd worked out, detailed two cars, and was starting to clean our house. (I was sewing Anna's crib bedding).
Such a great man!

Despite our heavy workloads I'm grateful for our early morning shifts. We get to study together daily and even though we don't talk a whole lot during it its nice to see each other more than last semester.


We plan to enjoy fall to the fullest and complete all the items on our fall bucket list! [:
I can't wait for winter and the holidays though. So excited.

These were amazing fall cookies. Apple Cider cookies with caramel centers. YUM

 Also since I'm obsessed with decorating here's some of the fall stuff i've added.

Just for good measure here's our little Kitchen. Its becoming my favorite room 

in the whole house so. I had to share its cuteness. 

Now here's my small rant and then I'll end this book.
I hate seeing everything about politics on facebook. Not because politics annoy me or because I'm not interested, I am. But the battles become more about what the other side is doing WRONG than what our side can do right. People are so focused on trashing and outsmarting the other side they're forgetting who we are supposed to be. It makes me so sad to hear people call anyone an "idiot" or "incompetent" or complain endlessly about the way they do things. I don't like Obama either, but I don't judge him for everything that's wrong with this country. He's just one man. And things aren't going to change instantly. I don't agree with all that he does but that doesn't give me a right to argue with those who do and act like they are foolish. I was taught to be Christlike in all things. To love ALL of god's children and to love my enemies! I think its sad that people forget that so quickly when they're speaking about someone they've never actually had to meet.
If you don't believe me read this talk!!
http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/62734/Elder-Jeffrey-R-Holland-God-is-always-calling.html

This all goes for those poor replacement officials as well [:
Sorry-- but for those of you who know me.. you know I always feel for the underdog.
Even when watching sports I generally want the team who is losing terribly to come back because I feel bad for them.
And I can't watch the players when they lose a big game it makes me want to cry even if I wanted the other team to win.
So yes. I am a loser. And proud of it.
haha.

Life Actually.

So here I am sitting in my newly cleaned house with my new favorite candle burning (Spiced Apple Toddy) listening to my fav Frank Sinatra -- and I'm just filled with so much gratitude.
Garth is currently at the gym with our neighbor and poppy seed muffins are baking awaiting his return [:
I love being able to make the house nice for my husband and I love being able to spoil him!
However, lately its more so been the other way around. That is mostly why I am filled with so much gratitude.
I've spent a lot of time being sick these 8 months we've been married, and he's spent a lot of time taking care of me.
I started out with strep that lasted way too long. They gave me medicine but after taking it it hadn't changed anything. So they had to try a different one. Then I spent a while sick with other things and on all sorts of medications, with my patient husband just loving me and caring for me. We got all moved in and started school again. School made it so we saw each other a lot less than we thought we would.
Towards the end of the semester we prayed a lot and thought a lot about Garth and his job. We came to the conclusion he should quit it, and that that was what would be best for our marriage. He quit and found another one, less hours on campus. Although it was less money we'd figured it all out and we were going to be fine...just tight.
Well a week later we discovered I was pregnant and we felt a little bummed we'd quit the job. I was super tired the first few weeks of pregnancy, and he took care of me and made sure I did everything BY THE BOOK because he loved our baby already.
It was the 7 week break and he was planning on trying to find more work and work two jobs but he was unsuccesful. He found a couple jobs that were just two day things but nothing permanent. He was a little discouraged, especially with a baby coming.
In hindsight I see what a blessing that was. Not only because we were able to make up for all the lost time during the semester and grow closer together, but also because he was here for me when I needed him.
In terms of miscarrying, I opted to do it naturally. It was a drawn out process and it was pretty hard. I was blessed to have a husband by my side through the whole thing. Even if he was just sitting outside the bathroom door wishing there was more he could do. The whole thing was hard on him, which made me really sad, but I can't imagine him having to be at work and me do it all alone.
He was able to go to every single appointment with me. He drew on my back through the pain, and made me laugh when I was sad. Had he kept his job back when we felt we got the answer he needed to quit it, he wouldn't have been there for any of it.
So I'm extremely grateful.  I always love when you can see heavenly father's hand in your life so clearly.
We were able to maintain perspective and help each other through it. I've determined to just focus on being the best wife possible and building traditions within our marriage. After all, traditions ARE what will matter to our children. We already made our fall bucket list and a cute little crafty way to display it [:

I had the opportunity to go to my brother's sealing this past week and it was just such a tender experience for me. To see him make that choice with such a wonderful girl made me so happy for him. All day I was just beaming and giddy for him! He had such a beautiful bride and she's got the best husband.
The picture of him playing football-- that moment made me so happy. All the neighborhood boys from my childhood along with my husband played football for a bit towards the end of the reception. Its maybe the last time they will, after all those long hours spent playing it in our street. It was fun to watch. I'm glad I got some pictures.
I had the opportunity to be with my family this past weekend and I just love them so much. Everyone who knows me knows I would give anything to live in Colorado again-- and its mostly just because I would love to be close to my parents.

They have taught me so much. I'm grateful for my moms perfect example of homemaking. Because of her I'm in love with decorating and cleaning. There's nothing better than a clean home with a candle burning. Because of her I decorate for seasons all too early, but it makes it feel like the holidays are around longer.
I've already put up all my fall decorations (two days ago) and brought out all the fall candles. It made me so happy I was basically bouncing around all day.
I'm still sewing the table runner and making the table setting so I still have some crafts to get through.

While in Colorado I was able to host Anna's baby shower with my mom. It was very cute and special. We had a lot of fun and Anna got a lot of good gifts for baby Paris. I'm excited for my niece to enter the world. I probably won't get to officially meet her til Christmas but it will be so great. [:

I came back to Idaho feeling really good, and then it hit me. I have strep, again.
So of course yesterday I came home from work to a clean house with a husband who told me to go to bed. Such a wonderful man.

After antibiotics I'm feeling much better. I was able to get up and disinfect every surface today to try to help Garth not to get sick. I cleaned the house and listened to much Frank Sinatra.
For those of you who don't know I'm just a little obsessed. My mom and dad went through a phase where they played him a lot in the house. I think he makes me feel like home and comfortable.
For whatever reason, I listen to him often.
I also listen to Diana Ross and the supremes. But I know why THAT is.
One time at Barnes and Noble (after shopping for my momma) my dad saw there CD and got excited. When I told him I didn't know who they were he was very disappointed. He purchased the CD determined to show me.
When we got in the car he knew all the words. He even did hand gestures to "Stop in the Name of Love". It made me laugh, and its a tender experience now. So, me being the little girl I was, I made sure I learned all the words and I fell in love with the CD. I played it often. Thats why I still do. [:

Life is going well, we're moving into Fall now and I love the noticeable change in the air.
I love the decorations all over the house and that boots are in my near future. [:

Our Something Unexpected

I started this post with a much different purpose a long time ago. 

I've debated about whether or not I should share all of it. But I've decided I have learned way too much to not share this story.

Maybe people will think its something I shouldn't have shared, and maybe others will find comfort in it. 

All I know is I write about things. I'm a writer, its my major, its my thing. Things make sense on paper. Or I guess in this case online. 

Plus I think this post will make a lot of things make sense to those who live around us. 

Anyhow, here goes nothing!

Almost 9 weeks ago we experienced our something unexpected. 

Some of you may have guessed this was coming, but we sure didn't!
It came as a bit of a shock, and the first week was spent trying to wrap our heads around it!
The moment I saw those two lines my head was flooded with questions -- school -- money -- work -- school. You know the drill.
Garth was so ecstatic right off the bat.
I may or may not have shed some tears. Not that I didn't WANT to be pregnant I did want a baby but I was extremely caught off guard. And couldn't help but feel a little young..
That week I was a ball of stress. I went in and met with someone in the English department and changed around the rest of my degree.
I only have 3 semesters left. 2 of which I can complete before baby! That meant I was just going to split the last semester into 2 and go part time after the baby arrived. I was still going to graduate ahead of schedule. I suddenly became very grateful that I graduated high school early and have taken at least one extra class a semester.
Garth and I sat down and figured everything out financially. We researched all the one time costs like cribs and car seats and then all the ongoing costs for the first year of the babies life.
We figured out how we were going to make it all work and somehow it fell together.
There were immediate blessings we were able to see in our lives.
Just to give an example, obviously for a little  bit money was going to be tight because this wasn't something we were planning for.
The week my mom was here she bought us a ton of groceries. (this was the week before we knew we were pregnant)
We had a more full fridge and pantry than we've ever had in our life together!
Then two weeks later Garth's sister bought us a ton of groceries for his birthday present. (she didn't know we were pregnant).
Then a couple weeks later my friend who is an apartment manager was going through and checking apartments after all the girls had moved out. They leave everything from food, to tv's, to cleaning supplies.
She gave me a ton of stuff.
We still haven't bought groceries in months.
We truly felt so blessed. Things were going to work out and we were going to be okay. 
We got to see the little tiny baby on Ultrasound at 5 weeks! Then we set the appointment to come in at 8 weeks to hear the heart beat and see it start to look more like a baby. 
After that it was all excitement. Of course every once in a while there was that nagging thought "We've only been married six months! This is so fast" but we were so excited for our baby. And to meet our baby!
We didn't tell many people but the reactions of the few we told varied.
There were those who were excited.
I had someone tell me they felt bad for me.
Those who thought we were crazy.
And then more of those excited ones. 
Garth was especially happy. He loves kids, and his family all has a ton! (my family has no grandchildren yet)
We found ourselves wandering the baby section at every store and joking about how big I may or may not get.
I tried to adjust to ALWAYS being tired, but who really gets used to that?
We had a plan, we were having a baby, we were so excited.
We learned that things don't always go as planned, but that we need to trust in our Heavenly Father because usually his plans for us are much better than our own. We learned to rely on each other and to grow together. We made a lot of decisions together. And learned that family was truly the most important.
But the learning wasn't over.
Monday night after FHE I began spotting.
Only it was more than just "spotting".
I instantly panicked and became emotional.
Which made Garth worry and wait for me to explain whats going on.
I knew something was wrong, but I hoped that it wasn't.
Garth gave me a blessing and I honestly instantly knew.
In the middle of my request to please not let our baby die I knew right away that the baby already had, and there wasn't anything I could do.
I cried myself to sleep that night, but somehow I was able to feel SOME comfort in the fact that it was out of my hands. It was in the Lord's hands and I knew, from our previous experiences, that I could trust him.
That morning was a rough one. Waking up and remembering is almost worse than actually finding out. We called the doctor and made an appointment to go in.
The doctor did some blood work and an ultrasound.
When he came back in the room to tell us what he found he handed me my paper and at the bottom it said "threat abortion". (This is a type of miscarriage).
I instantly regretted ever crying about being pregnant. Ever being scared about having a baby. I wished that I had always been excited and never second guessed it. 
He told us we should be eight weeks, and there should be a distinct flicker of a heartbeat but he couldn't find one. Our baby was much smaller than it should be at this point and he was 90% sure we were miscarrying.
We didn't ask many questions that day I just silently cried while he spoke.
They tested my hormone levels, and I was instructed to come back Thursday to test them again to see if they were increasing to signal that I was progressing.
That day was terrible. I cried, Garth cried, and we tried to understand.
One hard thing is there isn't a lot we know about miscarriages in a gospel sense.
We don't know when the spirit enters or doesn't enter, if that baby still comes, or if that baby is still ours later.
There wasn't a lot of comfort to be found but in each other. 
While I cried Garth was able to hold it together and just talk to me.
While he cried I was able to hold it together and talk to him.
It was hard to see him cry because naturally as a wife you want to make it better.
It's hard to know that although it isn't my fault it is my body rejecting it.
We talked about all we had learned from the experience.
We felt that we had been able to see that family is truly so much more important than anything else.
That it would be selfish to try to fit the Lord's work somewhere in our worldly timeline.
We also felt that this had shown us we ARE ready and able to start our family. We'd always planned on waiting to get a little further along, but now we know it is possible. And we were excited.
Garth and I also became so much closer. We had such a mixture of reactions from people that we had to just learn to rely and trust in solely one another.

I went in Thursday and did the blood work, my hormones were really high which I was told was a good sign. We found ourselves caught between trying to "not be negative" and "not get our hopes up".
We didn't do a whole lot through the week. The first day we just watched Harry Potter all day.
My mom surprised us and came Thursday night.
She could only stay for a short time so she said she would stay for my appointment the next day.
I was extremely grateful to have her there and to be able to hear her opinions and thoughts on all of it.
The next day the doctor did an ultrasound.
It was the longest ultrasound I've ever had.
He checked and measured EVERYTHING.
He told us that baby had stopped progressing at 6 weeks.
Based on the size and the tissue he suspected the baby did indeed have a heartbeat at one time but that it didn't beat for very long.
He confirmed that there was no heartbeat now and that we were for sure having a miscarriage.
Although the news was painful, we had had all week to prepare.
We were more able to ask him all our questions than we were the first appointment.

It has been an interesting week. Full of ups and downs. But I am so grateful for the experience. I wish it didn't end the way it did but we were able to grow. I feel like the Lord was helping us get to where he wanted us to be. Our priorities were given a strong wake up call. Garth has been a great support through the whole thing. He truly is an amazing husband. Even though we never got to meet our first baby we loved our baby. And we were blessed so much by the short time the baby was a part of our lives. I learned how miraculous it is that women can create life, and how sacred our call to be mothers is. This lesson taught me so much, and I hope I will always be grateful for the experience.

Camping

This weekend Garth and I went camping with Kyle and Angie our neighbors. It was so much fun! We already had a tent and everything so we were pretty excited to finally get to go. I've been begging Garth for about a month now.
We prepared the hobo dinners before hand and then the drive was only about 40 minutes.
While Garth and I were packing he kept telling me we didn't need extra blankets or hoodies and things. I was like "where have you been camping Garth?" and he said "All over!" (later that night he said "I guess I'm just used to camping in Iowa where it doesn't cool off at night" haha)
So he made me second guess myself. Needless to say I brought some sweats and an extra blanket and I wore jeans because we left at about 5:30pm.

Garth and I learned I should probably do the packing. This kid packed only shorts and a swimsuit. NO hoodie no extra blanket nothing warm! He was shivering under my blanket while we roasted marshmallows.
Anyhow..
We camped right next to a river so it was a really pretty camp ground. And there were a couple foxes running around.

While the dinners cooked we just played games and talked. Then we ate dinner. The dinners turned out so good! Kyle and Garth made and cooked them so Angie and I were pretty proud. Then we talked and roasted marshmallows until about 12:30 am. As soon as we saw the band of skunks in the campsite right next to us scavenging we decided to call it a night.

It was pretty cold that night. We forgot the pad we were going to sleep on so I kept telling Garth it was his job to keep me warm! He falls asleep in less than two minutes literally. So I just laid there and listened to the skunks walk around our campsite trying to find food. Luckily we'd packed it all up safely and it was far away.

The next morning we woke up and built another fire. Angie's family is a big hiking/camping family so she built fires very efficiently. We had breakfast and played catch until Angie's cousins arrived. Then we floated down the river in our tubes. It was so fun!

REALLY cold. Which is funny because its called the warm river.. but it was fun. We floated probably more than 5 times. And then we all had lunch together-- went one more time down the river-- then had to dry off and leave.
It was a nice get away from Rexburg.
I always enjoy being with Garth so much. He's such a good husband. Always willing to help anyone with anything and we just enjoy being together so much. He's so sweet.
Its funny going places with him because I love our friends and I love the company but he's always still the person I'd rather be with and feel connected to. He's great.