Our Many Miracles

There are a few parts of this new Chiari journey, otherwise known as just our everyday life now, that I will simply never forget.
       
         I will never forget watching Camden be put under for the first time.

         I will never forget the neurologist showing us the imaging and him talking like it was completely routine and saying everything looks good and normal "but". I will never ever forget that "but". Or his hands pointing at the "malformation" within my son's brain that was up on his screen.
Instinctively I reached for Garth's hand, but I'll never ever forget the way that moment felt, not even if I tried.

        I will never forget his surgery days I'm positive--though those have not yet happened.

However, I've realized there are other things I simply don't WANT to forget. So I decided I want to write out our little miracles.


       First and foremost, somehow my one year old (at the time) learned how to tell me when something hurt. Not only could he express he was in pain but he could show me exactly where the pain was. I don't have any idea how my child who can't understand the urge to go to the potty can understand how to tell me mom it hurts. I literally cannot find any connection as to how he learned what "Pain" is, but to me it is a miracle. A miracle that he would come and just tell me simply "it hurts" and point to his neck. At first I thought not much of it, because he was one. But it just bugged me and he kept telling me, and now I am so grateful for this miracle.

    Second, our location. Most of you know when we moved to Colorado it was kind of a blind hopeful move. We had to move and be out of our student housing, but Garth didn't know what Grad schools he was accepted to yet. So we took a gamble and moved to the school we were hoping to be in. Garth decided to apply to the program here randomly one day early on in our marriage. I hadn't expected to ever come back. But there have been several experiences that have shown us we are meant to be here. One of which is the fact that we are equal distance from two really great children's hospitals. One of which has one of the best neurological departments in the U.S.
We have been able to meet with two pediatric neurosurgeons that both have immense experience with Chiari without having to go far at all. The fact we even have CHOICES of surgeons here is so unique.
I have met SO many who have to drive a couple hours, or even FLY to a whole other state for their opinions and surgeries. Having a specialist in chiari is so vital, and here we are sitting 30 minutes from two!

    They found Camden's chiari fast, and before he was even two year's old. I cannot tell you how many people I have met on this journey who it took 3-5 years to finally find their chiari. And even then the child is much older and much further progressed than Camden's issues are at that point. Most parents don't even know to start looking until their child is 5 years old and can better express their pain or challenges.
We have been so prompted and guided in which doctors and routes to take for Camden we found his actually really easily. Chiari's symptoms look like so many other things many people pursue the wrong routes for years. We found Camden's young, and the younger he gets help I KNOW the better off he will be. To me and my family this is a miracle. Camden was able to express just the right symptom for his age, and I already knew neurologists here I could take him to. It clicked into place almost too easily. Miracle.


      Miracle number 3 is my pregnancy. It has provided just the right amount of hope and positivity and things to look forward to, without taking me away from the things Camden needs me for. I know it's helped get me through this and remind me that this is just a moment. I also know if I hadn't gotten pregnant before this happened I would've been terrified to even try, and too stressed to add to our current situation: and I KNOW that a spirit was read to be here. So I'm grateful for the timing.


      Miracle number 4: Eternal life. I know that someday, no matter what happens within this life, Camden will be healed. I also know that he will always be mine, and a part of my family. This knowledge gets me through the hardest of days.

      There have been two other highly spiritual experiences and miracles, but they are too tender to share on a blog. So to end this post miracle number 5 is Camden. Somedays I feel like this whole ordeal knocks me off my feet over and over, like I have to reprocess every single day. But then I look at Camden. The one who is actually dealing with the chronic pain and he is SO happy. I've come to realize most children just look up at you when you walk in the room, if that. Most children are content just playing and going about their day. Camden, when someone enters the room looks up and beams. He begins to explain to you all that he is doing, while giggling and smiling. Across the dinner table he gives me random smiles throughout the whole meal. He wakes up each morning with a massive smile on his face. The kid is just giddy about life, and that is what picks me up on the days I feel like I get knocked down. I've learned my real-life hero is just over 2 feet tall, wears a diaper, and sleeps in a bed with guardrails. He keeps me going and reminds me to enjoy this journey, wherever it may lead us.