Daxten's Birth By Garth

The birth story to end all birth stories. That is probably the expectation. Unfortunately, this one may actually end up being the shortest one of them all. Let me preface this by blazing through the four weeks prior to delivery day and just saying we went to the hospital several times (all at the behest of the physicians that be). Amy had a ton of contractions; but there was no baby.

I had a good feeling Amy was in labor the night of April 24^th when I took the older kids to swimming lessons and not only did Amy not join us, but she did a prenatal workout, showered, and then curled her hair. Priorities right?

Contractions picked up (nothing new), but she acted a bit different this time. Ironically, earlier that same day she had seen her OB-GYN and scheduled her induction for the next week on Tuesday. When asked if we should schedule for the next Tuesday, or that coming Friday (a few days away) he gave no real opinion, but just kind of smiled. 

Well the night of the 24^th we checked in, and as usual, the nurses did not think Amy was in labor. Why? Because she is a freaking boss and was, cool and collected. And was, dilated to a cool, and collected, 6 cm!

Everything about this labor reminded me of Camden’s. Checking in at 6 cm. Spending the next few hours in the tub, breathing through contractions. Getting out and walking around a bit, using the exercise ball to lean on, a nurse that was ridiculously nice and for the most part hands-off.

So after a few hours the nurse checks Amy again, and wa-la she’s at 9 cm. Get the doc! Break the water! Let’s do this thing! So the doctor breaks her bag of water. And then says, “She’s only a true 6 cm”. Wait, wait, wait. She was just at 9, now she’s only at 6/7? What?

And this was the first time I have ever seen Amy discouraged during labor. This is the first time I ever heard her say she didn’t think she could do it. This was the time I started to worry about seizures. And this is the part this story changes. (And you’ll probably notice it too).

Never mind the fact that the body naturally shakes during transition labor as a means of dealing with the adrenaline. Those shakes sent me into over-drive every single time. Every time I thought she was going to seize. Every time I worried about her and about the baby. But every time she assured me she was fine.

It took all of 14 minutes from the time they broke her water until Daxten was born. 14 minutes to go from 9 cm, back to 6/7 cm, to baby boy. That doctor never made it back into the room. (Don’t worry; we still received a bill).

Our nurse had never delivered a baby solo before. She was telling Amy it wasn’t time to push. Amy looked at me and said she was going to have a seizure. Never before in the previous 9 months had I ever tried to persuade her or tell her “You can’t have a seizure”, or “You won’t have a seizure”. Because; it’s a seizure. Not exactly controllable. But in that moment, I got the distinct impression that I just needed to say it. I got as close to her eyes as I possibly could and I just said, “No you are not”. I looked at the nurse, I looked at Amy, and then he arrived. One push. Baby boy. Cord wrapped around his neck twice. I think I held my breath from that moment until he cried and I knew he was breathing. And then all I had to think about was Amy. Daxten was here. He was healthy. He was breathing. Amy was crying, obviously so exhausted, but so thrilled that she had done it. For months all we had heard was that immediately after birth her seizures could get really bad as her body adjusted. I was on edge. I was nervous. I was thrilled. I was stressed. I was exhausted. But some how, some way she had done it. We had done it. He was here. He was healthy. And as Kyra would so eloquently later state, “He is ours forever”.

Yes he is. He is beautiful. Amy has only had a few seizures since. We know birth wasn’t the cure, but not lugging around a baby inside of you certainly helps.

I can’t say how amazed I am. Amy told me a few days later that she felt better than she had in over a year. All I could do was cry. Just like that, it seemed so many of my prayers had been answered. Maybe not in the exact time and moment that I wanted, but in the exact moment I needed. Human life is a miracle, and one that I hope I don’t soon take for granted.

Amy once asked me, if I ever remembered what I had dreamed of my future being when I was younger.

It suddenly hit me then, I literally have everything I could have ever wanted. I am living the life I dreamed of.

I could go on and on about the blessings of my life, too many to count; But the only ones that matter are Amy, Camden, Kyra, and Dax.

No matter what we do or where we end up, nothing compares to being me. Because with me, it’s now a “party of five”.

-Garth

Daxten's Birth By Amy

Daxten Joe Wright was born April 25th at 3:08am 7lbs 4oz and 20.5 inches long.

Leading up to Daxten’s actual birth I had many days of regular (2-3 minutes apart) increasing in severity contractions just like I did with Kyra. I would have these for hours on end. Because I don’t really find any part of labor pre transition (before 7cm) significantly painful I really was struggling with the idea that I would have no idea when I was going into actual labor until I reached transition! And once I reach transition I go fast so I was super worried about being too late. My doctor reminded me that a false alarm would be better than a baby born in the car. Needless to say by April 24^th I was pretty worn out and tired of always wondering when contractions started if they would keep progressing or stop!

The morning of April 24^th I heard birds chirping before opening my eyes and then had the thought “it would be a great day to have a baby”. Sounds cliché but it really happened. I then saw I was spotting a little which made me suspicious that today WOULD in fact be the day I had a baby. All morning I had cramping and irregular contractions, just like every other morning had been for the past couple weeks. I had my 39 week check that morning and when I was checked I was 50% effaced and 2cm, which wasn’t any progress from my last check. My doctor then asked about me being induced and said he wasn’t going to push me either way but knew with my seizures other doctors and definitely my husband were wanting this to be over. He said they had an opening the following Tuesday or the next day. I told him I would agree to the next Tuesday because it would be past my due date but that I just wanted to do this on my own and wouldn’t be scheduling it before my due date. Garth was a little frustrated by this I think but tried to be supportive of me. (mind you Garth would never normally have been frustrated by this – you have to remember how much he watched me suffer this pregnancy and how doctors said the sooner the pregnancy ended the better for seizures going away long-term)

We spent a little time at my mom’s after the doctors office and while we were there I was fairly confident I was going to go into labor but wasn’t ready to tell anyone. With my constant contractions for hours on end for weeks I felt like Garth had been living life on the edge of his seat and I didn’t want to get his hopes up. So I told him he should take the kids to their swimming lesson without me so that I could rest when really I wanted to get ready for the hospital. So after they all left I did a workout, showered and curled my hair. When Garth got home and saw my hair he knew I was in labor, but I made him not talk much about it til I was ready. As it started to get later I decided it would be best to take my kids to my moms so they were taken care of incase things took a quick turn. We loaded everything up and dropped them off then headed to the hospital. My mom offered to come to my house instead of me driving the kids there but I wanted that drive to stall myself from going to the hospital just a little longer. I told Garth on the way to the hospital I wasn’t in pain so I could be in false labor again but that we might as well just go and see.

When we arrived at 11:00pm the nurse kept looking at me with that face that says “there’s no way this chick is in labor”. She seemed a little annoyed, but when they checked she said I was a 6/7 and she looked surprised. I was so relieved – we were FINALLY having our baby! It was FINALLY going to all be over. We headed to labor and delivery and I asked them to begin filling the tub. Several nurses came in and out and asked all about natural labor super intrigued. Being able to say it was my third natural labor helped so much, I wasn’t met with annoyance or nurses who didn’t believe I would do it like previous births, the nurses were just excited to discuss it with me and knew I knew what I was doing. Such a different experience!

They checked Dax and all was looking good so I put the wireless monitors on and headed to the tub. Garth and I just chatted and laughed. He made jokes I relaxed and we fell into the rhythm we always have when in labor. We talked about how excited we were and everything we’d been through to get to this point, Garth reminded me that I was so close to the finish line, and he made ridiculous jokes he always makes when I am laboring. I love that man.

Garth took this picture as I was wandering around trying to help contractions be as productive as possible

 Eventually I decided labor was too easy and slow in the tub so we should get out and get moving around to get things progressing. We got out and walked around the room and I leaned on Garth and rocked through the contractions. For a little while I laid on the bed on my side and just rested between contractions. My mom came in and chatted with us for a while and then left to go wait until he arrived.

My contractions are pretty much always under 5 minutes apart even when in early labor, but I could tell I was beginning to near transition but things weren’t too intense yet. The nurse came in and checked Dax several times and continually reminded me if I felt ANY pressure to tell her because she knew the pushing stage for me is usually short. (20 mins-ish with Camden, about 10 with Kyra). I told her I was starting to feel pressure but didn’t feel like it was go time because the contractions still felt too high in my body. She checked me anyways and said I was a 9. The doctor came in and decided to break my water which I was fine with because I assumed I would be pushing in the next couple minutes. After she broke my water she said she wanted me to push as she stretched my cervix. I was a little annoyed that she was even intervening knowing my body was going to do all of this on it’s own anyways but I obliged. When I went to push I said “nope its still too high of contractions pushing hurts” (pushing is relieving when its actually time).

She then told me the worst news! The pressure I had been feeling was my water pushing and it was what was stretching me, after they broke it I went back down to a 7. 2:54 am and I was only a little progressed. I was so bummed. The doctor said she would be back shortly to check me again.

At this point I got really nervous because I knew if I took too long to progress I would end up having a seizure. Being over tired has pretty much been a consistent trigger my whole pregnancy, along with anything that weakened my immune system. I love labor but I knew if I began seizing I was going to quickly lose a lot of say in what would happen next for me. I started to express my fears to Garth and in  true Garth fashion he kind of ignored me haha! Not in a mean way, but in a he nodded and acknowledged me but just stayed the course knowing we were going to get through it. I also think Garth has learned from previous labors that when I start to feel a little nervous labor is about to end.

That’s when I started to feel that need to push. I started to tell Garth and the nurse that I was having to push and she told me “No it’s not time we just checked you”. She wasn’t wrong, it had only been about 6 minutes since they told me I was a 7. She asked me to sit down on the exercise ball and I said I can’t, it is time to push. She kind of ignored me obviously thinking I was losing my mind and was just trying to help me endure. Finally I got up on the bed telling her I HAVE TO PUSH and I could feel my body REALLY bear down on its own – and I mean REALLY really, and I knew he was crowning though no one seemed to be prepared for that (I wish I could show you what Garth’s shocked face looked like) and then in the midst of that big push I felt it two things: my baby was about to enter the world and leave my body, and also I felt my seizure window. My vision started to go (Garth says my eyes started rolling) and I told Garth I’m going to have a seizure. Garth got RIGHT in my face eye to eye and said “NO YOU ARE NOT.” And out popped Dax’s head! And then quickly followed the rest of his body, the nurse barely caught him. She looked so horrified. There was no doctor in the room, the bed wasn’t ready for delivery, the cord was wrapped around his neck twice, but he was on my chest! 3:08am! In really one BIG push.

The pushing was really involuntary which I can’t describe but if you’ve had an unmedicated labor you know what I mean. When I felt my body really push the nurse looked so scared I wasn’t sure what to think. She later told me she’s never caught a baby before and because Dax had the cord wrapped around his neck twice she was trying to get to it but he came so fast she couldn’t get to it and guide his shoulder through. He was basically forced out haha. The doctor took another 10 minutes or so to come and check me and confirm no need for stitches! (sorry if that’s a TMI but this is my story 😊) She delivered the placenta and then left, I don’t even know her name she wasn’t there long!

All the while we waited little Dax was on my chest and I cried knowing I had done it. The hardest physical thing I’ve ever done was carry Dax in my belly, and it was finally over. I was so glad the trial was over, but I also immediately knew that I was holding a freshly made-by-me baby for the last time. I was flooded with so many emotions, but mostly just felt grateful.

My mom got to come meet Dax and hold him fresh and new. I’m so grateful for that, it is the first time that has happened. Dax nursed like a champ right away and I was able to get up and walk pretty instantly. So many things about recovery and such seemed to have changed since I had Kyra I felt like a newbie with all the things they were using and recommending!

The hospital was full so we were moved to the suites that people pay extra for and it was awesome but also a little excessive! The room was as large as a hotel room, Garth had his own full bed, and the shower and tub are bigger and more complicated than ours at home! We were most definitely spoiled.

We stayed the full time at the hospital because I learned after staying the minimum amount with Kyra (it was Christmas Eve) that it is worth it to just stay in that little newborn haze in the hospital for as long as you can before you return home to the chaos of a full of house of young children. Those few days alone with him were magical.

We are now enjoying Garth’s paternity leave as a family, he doesn’t return to work until June 26^th. We are so grateful for this time of healing, learning, stretching, regrouping, and family. We have pretty much just closed in around our little group and enjoyed doing things all together as I wasn’t able to be an active participant in a lot of things for a long time. I am consistently amazed at how different I feel and how completely fogged and different I was for the majority of the pregnancy. I haven’t felt the constant fatigue of over stimulation as I did when pregnant, and I have learned that my seizures are SO MUCH less painful on a non-pregnant body.

We’ve learned so much as a family, and we are so glad Dax is here safe and happy.