Camden's Birth

This is a very long post. Feel free to just skip around. 

 

Camden’s Birth

 

It has been quite an adventurous week so far, one that I will always cherish. Right now this week is probably the highlight of my life—I don’t feel like I’ve ever had a better week.

Lets start with Monday.

So Monday I’m feeling a little anxious, slightly discouraged, and a little bit tired of being pregnant. I keep getting texts that ask if I’m ever going to have my child and each one makes me a little more sad about it! So Monday I decided we should go grocery shopping just in case, even though I really didn’t want to go to Idaho falls.

Then we went and walked 3 miles as per our routine and came home to FHE. We watched a talk by Elder Holland given a long, long time ago. It was actually a Christmas address but Garth had seen it at work and wanted me to watch it so we did together. I won’t explain it in too much detail but he talked a lot about suffering and blessings. He made the comment that Gethsemane cannot be separated from Bethlehem. You cannot forget the biggest blessing and most tender night came promised with much suffering and a tragedy. This clicked with me. I instantly felt bad for being upset that my pregnancy was so long. I was feeling like “I did this whole pregnancy with no air conditioning, I have PUPPPs, I threw up all the time, can I not catch a break here??” That night I felt guilty for that line of thinking. So in my nighttime prayers I decided to just express my gratitude. Gratitude for the ability to carry Camden, for all the pregnancy had taught me, and for the fact I was being trusted to take care of one of Heavenly Father’s children. When I finished the prayer my exact thought was “now I am going to have him” which made me laugh because I was like, if that’s all I needed to do I would have done that weeks ago!!

So fast forward.

Now its not abnormal for me to wake up at night pregnant, but I started to wake up a lot around 3ish Monday night. Each time I assumed it was for a bathroom trip but each time I didn’t really have to go, and my belly was pretty hard. I began to realize I was waking up about every 20 minutes and by 4:30am I had what felt like bad menstrual cramps. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep anymore due to a little excitement and a little bit of discomfort so I got up to head for the shower. While in the shower I realized I was having pretty consistent contractions. So I just watched the clock while I blow-dried my hair and for the next 4 hours I had contractions pretty much all exactly 7 minutes apart. Around 8:30 they started to get further and further apart until they pretty much stopped—which I found very depressing. So I took a short nap and decided to go out to lunch with a friend to take my mind off of it all. While at lunch I was having contractions but I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want to get my hopes up again. Garth came home from work and we went to walmart and D.I. just to walk around and take my mind off of everything. At the grocery store they started to be a little more strong and consistent and by 4:30pm they were about 4 minutes apart. Garth and I watched family home videos for a while and by 6:30 (Garth was using a website to keep track) they were on average a little bit above 3 minutes apart. I still wasn’t feeling like I was in a lot of pain though so I asked Garth if we could keep waiting it out. He wanted to call a doctor just in case and the doctor also agreed that for a first time mom the beginning part of labor could be hours and I would be fine waiting at home. I just walked around, cleaned the house, packed up the bag thoroughly and kept myself busy. Then I was determined that they were slowing and I wasn’t in real labor and was getting really discouraged and hot in our un-air-conditioned home. SO we went for a drive, about 40 minutes away and got root beer floats. Driving wasn’t the most pleasant thing because my contractions were mostly in my back and sitting made them more intense. I drank the rootbeer and told Garth I think it’s about time to go, we need to get home and get our stuff.

We got home and I couldn’t decide. I wasn’t in excruciating pain so I felt like it couldn’t be active labor yet. I paced around and finally just decided better to be safe than sorry. I tried to tell Garth to eat his burger first because it could be a long night but he assured me he couldn’t and threw it away. So we loaded up and headed to the doc. On the way there I got really nervous and I told Garth “I’m not in enough pain we could still only be dilated to 1 cm! We may be getting sent home”. So we go in, and I get in the gown and I’m just pacing, pacing, pacing the room. I turned to Garth and said I’m not in enough pain we’re getting sent home this is stupid we shouldn’t be here. 

 Me pacing the room saying we are going home, Garth said you're cute and I made this face. 

The nurse came and hooked me up and she immediately said, “Whoa that was a big one” and I stared at her blankly. I wasn’t feeling every contraction haha. But then I said, “So I am having contractions, I’m not crazy?” and she said, “If you’ve been having them consistently like that then I think you’re here to stay”. So she checked me and said, “you are amazing” and I just stared at her like I’m a 4 at least?? And she said, “you are 6 cm dilated” Oh my goodness that was music to my ears!! She asked about pain medication and I said I wanted to try to do it naturally and she looked me right in the eyes and said, “Amy you are sitting here laughing at 6 cm. You can do this.” I was so grateful she took the time to say that to me. So at that moment I decided to get it into gear and get ready to push through. I had an awesome nurse so that helped. So we officially checked in at 8:30pm which meant my contractions had been about 3-4 minutes apart for 4 hours before we went to the hospital. It made me laugh.

Me When we realized I was 6cm and being admitted

 So then I got into the Jacuzzi and garth and I just talked and laughed about how crazy it is that we would have our baby soon. Then I got out and wanted to walk around so we walked around the hospital. For an FHE when we were first married Garth and I had made a list of the things we wanted in our dream home. He brought that list and he described our dream house to me as we walked around to distract me. He’s such an awesome man. Then we needed to check on Camden so I got in bed and they hooked up the monitors (they try to do it for about 10-20 minutes every hour which I found great so no problems there). Didn’t enjoy being in bed but it was okay. My doctor walked in in shorts and flips flops and talked to us about where I was at and how things were going. We asked him how his recent race went and we joked around a little about how he had predicted Camden’s birthday correctly. He kept glancing at the machine so finally I said “what?” and he said, “are you even feeling these contractions?” Silly question.

Of course I was feeling them, so I said yes, but that they just weren’t too intense yet. Eventually the nurse checked me again and in the 2ish hours I had been there I had only progressed 1 cm. (which later she said it was actually almost 2cm). But I was discouraged because they were getting very intense. I started to lose my edge a little and my body began to shake uncontrollably between each contraction. The nurse told me I was in transition and that the shaking was due to adrenaline. We went back to the Jacuzzi so that I could get my body to relax between contractions. I sat in there for a long time and Garth just kept telling me how awesome I was doing and doing our “hee hee hoo” breaths through each contractions. I could tell my shaking was making him nervous and I began to complain that I was exhausted and didn’t know if I was going to make it. Garth just kept telling me that YES I was going to make it that I could do this. The nurse came in to check me and I told them both that if after a couple more hours had passed and I hadn’t progressed at all and was still a 7 I may need help because I would be too exhausted to continue on to pushing if it was all that slow. So she checked me and to my joy I was a 9! The check was quite painful because at this point my contractions were coming right on top of each other and I was in extreme pain, plus she was pulling open my cervix more. The doctor came and said, “Wow his head is really low can you feel all the pressure” and I said, “I guess? I don’t know my butt has felt like it is going to burst pretty much this whole time so maybe” so they broke my water and it wasn’t a big gush just some warmth. They had to be careful they said though because his head was so close and low. So then I was informed that soon I would feel the desire to push. I kept looking at Garth and saying “I don’t know if I can do this” and wanting to cry but just giving each contraction the best “hee hee hoo” breaths I had. Finally I started to sometimes feel an uncontrollable urge to push. PUSHING IS AN AMAZING FEELING WHEN YOUR BODY CAN REALLY FEEL IT! Your body sort of bears down naturally and you just lean into it. It took me a little bit to get the sensation right because my nurse kept saying “Push Amy PUSH!” and I was like, “I am pushing!!” but I wasn’t effectively yet I guess. I started to love the contractions that my body wanted to push during and soon they all were that way. Pushing takes away the pain of contractions and you get to focus on something so you’re motivated and find some energy. The nurse started to tell me that he had a lot of hair and Garth was getting excited so I started to find extra motivation to push hard even though it hurt. The nurse told me they could see about the size of a grape of his head and I said, “Don’t tell me that, I already feel stretched to my limit I don’t want to think about how much more I have to stretch down there!” I started to kind of laugh and say I still don’t feel like I am having a baby, but each contraction was hard and took concentration pushing. The nurse thought that it would take me much longer than it did to get him to crown but before I knew it the bed was changed the doctor and two other nurses were in and everyone was telling me to push push push. I would hold my breath while I pushed because it was the easiest way to focus on the things my body was naturally telling me to do. Then I would take a quick breath and push again. Sometimes I would try to maintain the push during the breath. I tried to give at least three strong pushes a contraction, and right when I felt like I was pooped I would push really hard again before relaxing.  I remember getting a little annoyed at when the doctor came in and was talking and joking with my nurse because I was like uh hello guys I’m over here and my body wants me to push so, someone pay attention!! J Then before long I was in the pain of my life, never experienced it—couldn’t imagine it, terrible awful pain and I lifted up my body and looked at Garth and said “I can’t I can’t!” and they said “AMY PUSH” and out came Camden’s beautiful head. I still had a strong desire to push so I kept going and everyone stopped me and told me to look first. So I looked at him (a moment and sight I will never, ever forget) and before I knew it I gave one more big push and he was up against my chest. 

What happens next is quite overwhelming. He’s on my chest, one nurse is washing him off, the other is checking him for things, meanwhile I’m still having small desires to push while birthing my placenta, Garth is taking pictures, and I’m just staring at my baby boy thinking I did not just do that, I did not just do that! Garth then cuts the cord and then they take Camden and the doctor stitches me (I was surprised to not need an episiotomy and the doctor said I tore but very minimally). I was watching Camden impatiently from afar and I told my doctor that he would make a terribly slow seamstress. He laughed and said he just needed lessons from some little old lady. I watched Garth follow Camden around and learn all the things, I got the score of his APGAR test (NINE!) and I began to relax.

Eventually I was told that it was time for my shower and “first bathroom trip” before they moved me. I didn’t want to move at all really, but I got up and we headed to the bathroom. Luckily the nurse came with me because I told her I was feeling whoozy and before I knew it I fell into her. I stayed coherent but my hearing began to leave and fog over so I told her I can’t hear anything and she was spraying me down in the shower telling me to just breathe. They brought in a wheelchair and kept putting ammonia under my nose (that stuff is STRONG) as they loaded me to take me to the room. All I remember about the wheelchair ride was the constant whiff of ammonia and then eventually I totally blacked out because I woke up to them putting me in my bed. I just drank some water and began to feel better. I didn’t sleep at all that night because of the adrenaline pulsing through me. I couldn’t believe I had done it! Garth was the best coach anyone could ever ask for.  That night I just sat in bed and stared at Camden and my husband sleeping. I’ve been blessed with the best boys.

Labor was such an awesome experience. I am so grateful I did it naturally. Was it hard? Very very. Did I get really freaked out during transition? YES. But I did it. The way our body takes over when its time to push and the pain you’re able to endure is amazing. Pushing hurts, but also feels good at the same time and you just kind of ride each wave and feel just how strong of a person your really are. It is actual a really strong desire of mine now for every woman to get to feel what the desire to push is like. I’ve thought about the experience multiple times a day since then and it was just the most awesome experience ever. I often think the thoughts, “That was so FUN” and I know it wasn’t really fun in the moment, but it was absolutely fun in the sense that I have never felt so empowered and so blessed in my life. My son is beautiful and I’m so grateful for the experience.

I’ll write about the days in the hospital later. [: