Here goes the last week of my life as a child! Super weird. Never again will I live with parents and rules! How weird is that? I'm nervous but I'm excited. Its going to be a really good semester. And I'm gonna have a lot of time to cook before I'm actually married.. which is good I need the practice.
I've been doing a lot of reflecting this week. Its always interesting to have the opportunity to look back and see how life has shifted and how you have grown. I remember in high school always fighting with my mom. It took finally dating a boy she approved of for me to realize how much I could actually talk to her. Even though things with that boy ended in the craziest way she was still there for me, and she showed me that she'd been in my shoes. That's when I started to see my mom as my friend, not just a lady who gave me rules. I grew up with a brother who has always made everyone laugh. He was always really goofy and a little mischievous. Then he went on his mission and now he's just goofy. I know he has a good heart, probably the best heart there is. I think sometimes I lose sight of that because we are siblings and we pick on each other and when he was on his mission it was easy to picture he and I being all each other needed. I forgot that I'm a girl, and hes a boy, and we are siblings. Siblings get sick of each other, they pick on each other, and as a brother he has to be around at the moments I don't want him to be, and as a sister I have to be too emotionally involved in everything for him. I think while he was on a mission I forgot about all those natural dynamics, so its been a rough adjustment for me to make. My little sister is the coolest. She's going through a lot of growing lately so she's got those girly moods. However, in high school I told her every single thing about me. I never lied to her because I never wanted her to hear something and feel like she didn't know her own sister. I always wanted her to feel like we were open with each other and like she could tell me things. She knows my weaknesses, she knows my mistakes, and my triumphs. She knows what makes me happy, and she knows how far I have come. I will always love that bond we have, and I can't wait til she starts to realize just how much she is worth. I have always thought that is the best thing to provide for someone- a knowledge of their worth. I remember that's when I began to love being in Young Women's. I made it a goal to try to help the girls learn just how precious a righteous young woman is because I think that is a lesson that is taught less and less often today. Its funny to reflect on my relationship with Anna because although we spent so much time together young she's been gone for so long its just what is familiar. She taught me to love music, and she gave me my sarcasm. She's also taught me to be tough. To not be down for too long. I'm glad she's my older sister, and I know we will always be close.
I have always been a big reflector but these last six weeks I've been inside my own head so much trying to take everything in! I will admit I have been so stressed! Making the decision to totally let go of being a kid is scary. But in those moments I just have to remember that I'm engaged to my best friend. Who makes me laugh more than I ever have with anyone. I will always get to be like the second grader who gets butterflies when a boy looks at her when I'm married to him.
And because of that, I know I can let go of those fears! [:
I'm really excited for Rexburg! I will be with my fiance everyday forever now. The long distance is finally coming to an end, and never coming back. The next chapter is slowly beginning!
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