Learning as I go

      

    Today just feels like a day for reflection. Maybe its because I don't want to have to unpack. Or maybe its because I'm not motivated to do any homework so I'm putting it off until tomorrow. Or maybe its just simply one of those days. First we'll go over the weekend--As per usual.

 Drove to Utah with Kyle and the Roommates to visit the boy and go to Matt Eastman's farewell.

I ran into Kylee Young and her family, Anna and Becca Young, and the Eatmans. It was like a little Colorado family reunion. I quite enjoyed it. Matt will be an awesome missionary, but I definitely feel for his sisters, been there done that. 2 years is a long long time!! 

Haha. I love him. He took this himself on my phone mind you.

 This weekend was Garth's older sister's 7 year anniversary with her husband. He surprised her and took her out. While she was gone the kids wanted to surprise her too so they colored a sign that said happy anniversary and hung it up on the curtain rod by the back door. [: Whatta happy little family.

 I think I have about 6 pictures of this girl in Garth's hat. But I love her. [:

I am extremely grateful for all the growth that has occurred to get me where I am today. Mostly I'm grateful for the gospel principles I was taught at a young age that instilled in me a desire to think with an eternal perspective, and to have values and goals. The gospel has given me direction my whole life. When I was eight I knew I would be baptized by my dad without question or thought about anything else. When I was 12 I knew I entered young womens, and when I was 14 I knew that meant I could finally start attending dances. My first dance, I danced with a guy who is taller than my brother, and I was 14. I was a little worried about trying to reach his shoulders haha. But later, a guy shorter than me asked to dance 3 times and asked for my number, and called me all the time. I guess the whole short guys attracted to me started back then.

     Today I am grateful for the mother who made me stubborn and headstrong. Maybe it was through watching how she handled trials, or maybe it was just built into her personality but I'm slowly learning how like her I am. People have always commented on how independent I am, and how much I stick to what I think, and I think this trait has been one that has protected me a lot over time.

    I'm grateful for a father who taught me to be assertive and to prioritize always. He taught me that you need to have that ultimate goal in mind, and do exactly what is necessary to reach it. I will always remember him telling me that I need to remember having time. There is a time window for having a family and a time for me to be a mom. I can always have my big career later. I don't have to choose, I have time.

This is a piece of an email my dad sent me last semester and I had to share it because its just soo him and its pasted in my journal.

 "Don't try to force birdies - make a few pars to start, get your feet under you and let the game come to you.

Same thing with College in the first year. Enjoy the challenge, enjoy new experiences, and let it come to you a little bit. You don't need to force everything all at once. That's when you make bogeys!"

"As far as getting out and meeting people it is an art to meet people that don't measure up to your standards and still make them feel like you are a friend. It is important to have balance in your life -so you need to go out and meet people. That is part of the experience! You can be focused and get good grades etc and still have fun socially. If you focus on one thing only you will blow up - so find balance. Learn to prioritize and compartmentalize. ( They are 2 different things). "

He's funny, but he'll always be true to him--gotta believe that.

Basically I've been inheriting all of these traits and learning as I go how to use them. 

I started out afraid to kiss a boy, and making the boy wait til I was 16 before we dated.

I then dated someone who yelled at me a lot and didn't trust me. 

Now I'm dating someone wonderful, who I still made wait until I felt right about different steps in the relationship.

We've never fought the whole year we've been dating, and I am completely secure in my trust for him and his trust for me.

I started out completely running away from commitment now here I am anticipating getting to answer with yes!

I still get scared, but I'm learning as I go that its something I have to let myself dive into. When the lord is in it you have to give it your all--100% to make it fully reach its potential for happiness. I'm still working on letting myself fully dive in. [:

I started out afraid of being overly loyal. I never wanted to date someone who really cared what I did, and the last couple of boys I dated did not have any cares in the world as to what I did. Now I have full trust in who I am dating, but I still care to some extent- as does he. I care most about his happiness, but I love him, so I want to be around him as much as possible. 

I started out completely lacking in confidence in my ability to be a mother or wife. I now know exactly where I need to go for direction, and know through him, I can be perfected in all my weakness. 

I started out wanting a stay at home dad, feeling I wouldn't feel complete if I didn't have a job. I now know that I want to be home. I want to ensure that there's a spirit in my home, I want it to be clean, I want to spend time with my future children, I want to make it a place my husband looks forward to coming home to everyday. 

I started out with no faith in this thing called marriage. Now, slowly but surely, my trust for my boyfriend is teaching me that I don't have to look at marriage as just one huge trial we get through. The journey can be a hard one, but we can also do it while smiling. 

For a period of time, I wished I didn't have to think about my actions and that I could just do all the things I thought I wanted. Now I know that I have direction, and because I have direction decisions are much easier to make. I know what I want in the end result and I feel like I have less limitations with this sense of direction. 

Obviously I'm still slowly learning, but I'm not longer out there playing mail box baseball, I'm no longer being dishonest to my parents, I don't spend months on end being grounded, I've gained a little perspective with each situation I've been put in in this life and I'm grateful. Looking back I miss a lot. Maxwell, Peter, laying in the grass with Emily, drives with Anna listening to Yellowcard, golfing with my dad, blowing things up with Kyle, being best friends with African and Ben, watching lost with Steph. But life goes on, and I keep learning. Maybe one day I'll learn to let go [: --But don't count on it. Haha.

Currently Loving:

Giant Cookies and midnight casseroles 

Music that makes you smile

Currently Learning:

A lot. 

[:

Blissful

  

This is at the bonfire.

   So I know a lot of people on this planet will tell you they're in the best relationship in the world, then you'll listen to their stories all the while thinking.."Wow, what is so great about him? He's kinda a jerk." Well. When I tell you I'm in the best relationship that is present on this earth--I'm 100% honest, and pretty dang sure I'm right. [:

 Every week I smile and laugh the most on Friday afternoon-Monday morning. I have never meshed so perfectly with anyone in my life. Even just going for a walk is a blast because I spend the whole time laughing. So wonderful!!

Anyhow moving on from the sappy moment...

This weekend was a good one.
Watched bones season Finale - very satisfied
Made Apricot chicken- Very pleased with this
Soccer game- Super cold.
Delicious breakfast
Got homework done while Garth played basketball
Snow cones! (took one to the brother. Was unsuccesful in getting a "thank you")
Lunch at the pizza buffet
Dinner at Teriyaki Place with Roommates
I am Legend with Roommates
Bonfire with Garth Kyle Liala Ryan Matt Alyssa Leanda etc.
(There were half naked men there) haha.. don't ask why I included that.
Watched kyle attempt to dance to the song "teach me how to jerk" --I USED to find that dance attractive.
Went to church -- Learned all about the priesthood from all angles--super great.
Cleaned the house, made mac and cheese. With the best person ever.
Took a Sunday nap [:
Watched Friday night lights. With the best person ever.
Made Brownies (Me and garth really shouldn't be allowed to do this anymore haha)
Attended an International Dinner. Garth was super happy to be able to speak his language and eat his food. Still wants me to learn.
Attended an FHE family Dinner where Garth lucked out and got to speak Twi again with another Ghanaian.
Went for a Walk with the best person ever.
Visited Kyle...with...the best person ever.
Walked home and watched Letters to Juliette with Roommates and the best person ever.
Talked [: (With the best person ever)
Then breakfast this morning! (You know the drill.)

(All of this above was done with Garth)
Twas fantastic [:

This upcoming weekend I'm going to my good friends Farewell! Super excited!
Also its a 4 day weekend for me!! Yeah!
Then its Garths Birthday!
And then the Next Weekend is his Surprise!
(And possibly some 4 wheeling!)
And then we go to Iowa!
Back to being busy and never in my little Rexburg!

 Roommates 

 Everything a girl Needs

 He hits on me more than anyone....

 Miss him.

haha. Don't judge us. 

First things first. I have a question. Who invented college?

Like really. 

Who decided we needed more education beyond highschool? 

Why cant we just apply for a job, and be in training for a year. 

I'd rather do that than this college shin-dig. 

Who decided to invent Universities that charge up the whazoo for class?

Who ever it was... was probably a really lonely soul.

And probably always will be. 

hmph.

Second things second: (bet you've never heard that one before)

What do women crave on their period? 

Chocolate.

And Warmth.

And sometimes carbs.

SO WALA! Chocolate Gravy and biscuits. 

Throw in the fact I'm a poor college student.. and you get ghetto biscuits!

Yum. 

I made them for my Roomie. 

 Yes she DID go back for seconds.

 We were pretty excited. And Pretty gross. lol

So this weekend I was convincing myself I could be a normal college student. 

I was going to go to Sammy's, and have a blast. 

I was going to go to dinner and make it fun with--chicks. Quite a challenge.

I was going to do homework and laundry and get ALL sorts of caught up.

NOT.

haha.

Well I did go to Sammy's. And the Temple.

 You'll notice at this point someone special showed up 

in the pictures haha. Yeah. My boyfriend and I couldn't last even a stinkin week.

[: WHOOPS.

But after many frustrated conversations he came and took me back to Logan.

Where I celebrated Addison's birthday, and had two Sorbet floats.

Yummy.

Not to mention a cupcake, and chicken fettucine alfredo. 

Which was mildly cold because I waited sooo long to eat it haha.

I also indirectly met his brother and sister on a mission.

It was only mildly awkward to wave and then sit there in silence. 

 HOT.

Thats all. 

[:

He's always doing my dishes. You'd think this was a gentleman's move

but really its just him trying to annoy me. 

Don't be fooled by the cute smile. He's a schemer.

(I hope you recognize the sarcasm in that)

Here's just two pics from Logan.

BTW Garth, since I know you're stalking me. You should know that you're weird. 

And that for some odd reason I like you.

But it is super weird you read this. I try to pretend that you don't. lol 

But anyways. HI! 

[:

Torn!

Its so sunny and beautiful today I love it!! Still love Rexburg guys. And Its realllly windy but i have A KITE!!! YEAH YEAH YEAH.
Also. My life is super boring. Haha. Studying by myself in the Crossroads. its what I do.

School:
Not too much has been happening here lately!
Still up in the Burg, but I go home next week! I was extremely excited to go but not so much now. I'm getting the hang of classes though and when I need to do homework. Should be a good weekend though. Cinco De Mayo Party tonight! Temple and Exam tomorrow. AND Sammy's tomorrow night. Should be good good good. And dinner out with the roomies. Clearly trying to fill my time haha. But it should be fun none the less. i'll try to take some pics to post.

Roomies:

We have some pretty funny discussions. Most of which focus on the fact that I have a boyfriend. And that I used to hate dating and probably was going to become a nun... haha.  I could see it lol.
Nuns have the right idea. You can't be a jedi and date someone...haha. Too bad I had to meet someone wonderful.. haha.
But they're all pretty cool. Ashleigh has the BEST facial expressions. Sharlene is basically ghetto and doesn't even realize it. But I LOVE IT. And Katie is pretty relaxed. So far its been pretty relaxed. Clean check days are the best because its so spotless!!
But then Friday comes and everything tanks aha.
We celebrated star wars day yesterday!

Boyfriend:
 I don't see him for 3 weeks. lol. And I was kindly informed yesterday that I can't be invited anywhere by boys because I'm "almost" engaged so it just wouldn't be right for them to invite me places.
Super lame lol. It'll probably be good for him and I to live by each other before we get all crazy.


Currently Learning:
I really like learning about the family, and integrating the gospel into fixing problems
Life is so up and down!
Change is really difficult for me to process haha.
25 is your prime [:


Currently Hoping:
For things to slow down a bit!
And for life to relax and just be full of smiles. [:
Continued sunshine!!